Thursday, December 30, 2004


Oh, how badly we want to put that into our newscast...too bad it has to be school appropriate, the bloopers will be kick ass though. It would almost be worth it for us to put "speaking of bombs" into the newscast...we could always play dumb..."I didn't know that was in there, honestly (insert scapegoat here) edited our film!" I think Cat would murder us and chop us up and bury us in the tunnel underneath the pool. I'm so excited, I don't have to work today! This is the first day since Christmas eve that I haven't had to work. But I do get to ruin the day by going to the doctor and cleaning my room. Oh, and by the way, my mom is forbidding me to go anywhere after work on New Years Day, she says I'm going to need my rest after working for 14 hours...which I slightly agree with...If we're doing something, I'll sneak over to Lia's for a little while and just tell my mom that we got off of work late...I think some LCR would be appropriate. Okay, I'm gonna go do some serious organizing. Salut! Oh, and I think LCR is queer beans<-- I just think it sounds queer beans bad? (Yeah Nicole!)

Don't Let Lia ZAP You

Lia is a super nerd. I let her Zap me today...ooh that sounds somewhat saucy. Remember when we were in like 4th grade and you would let someone right ZAP and a time on your hand and then right someone's name (preferably a boy's name) on your palm, and then you had to wait until said time to look at your palm otherwise you have to ask that person out? Yeah, well Lia is a nerd. This is who she Zapped me with:

The wild and untamed thing:
Paula, the 40 year old lunchperson of an unspecifified gender.

Okay, now that that's over, I'm so excited! First, I'm not working a double on New Years Day, so my mom is letting me go to Lia's thing and then on Sunday morning, I'm getting my car stereo installed...I'm getting a f***ing Kenwood...I'm stoked! Yes, I realize that I just said stoked. Now I must go to Kroger to get my daddy a dessert.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas time is here by golly...

...Deck the halls with hunks of holly! Salut all. I hope all your Christmases are going well. Mine went okay, but it was yesterday, cuz I'm just awesome like that. I got a new messenger bag...they are a borderline obsession now...I have like 4! And I got a gynormous bottle of my favorite perfume. Everything else was okay, those were just my favorites. Is it sad that I'm actually looking forward to working today? Because I am...I get to get dressed up around lunchtime and waitress for the main dining hall. Heck Yeah!! Now I must clean my bedroom. Bubbye.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Praying for snow didn't work out so well, huh?

Yeah...I'm not allowed to drive until my mom says so, that's how bad the f***ing snow is. Oh, and I'm not going to practice...mommy said no. Come on mom! It's only one mile! But yeah, I understand why, there's like a foot of snow out there and 4 wheel drive only goes so far. I really hope it gets better outside! My mom won't let me do anything, including doing our taping! I wish she wasn't being such a bitch about it, but she says its because she doesn't want me to get killed. Damn protective mothers. WTFF...Je n'aime pas la neige! Why can't we all live in a state that is a little less snow...remind me again why I decided to go to college here. Oy vey. More posts from the blizzard later.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Life Lessons From Lia

Lia just "taught" me how "hawk a loogie" (<-- that was spelled completely wrong)...and she did it over the phone.

Friday, December 17, 2004

The broken penis incident

Okay, I hope that got your attention...I broke some guys penis on Wednesday! I was putting my messenger bag on my shoulder and this guy, who by the way is a dickhead, gets in my way a little and I accidentally slammed my books into his penis...He bent over and made the "oofffffffff" noise. I felt bad, but not bad enough to make it feel better. Okay, that was rather saucy...but what can I say? I heart sauciness. Yes, I know that I haven't blogged in forever and a day, but I haven't had any time to myself for the last month. Woah, I just saw the most sensual commercial in the world...and it was for chocolate. Oh, and I hate the word "sensual" with a passion, but it applied. HECK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to work a waitress shift on Christmas! That means $100 for 8 hours of work! Okay, I'll talk to y'alls later.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


Ya know what? I tend to have the worst timing when I get sick...Yes, you heard it from me, I'm fucking sick again, this time its a full out upper respiratory infection. That means no school...although I might come in on Tuesday because of our project. Do not kill me, I swear I don't plan these illnesses. But yeah, I won't be in school tomorrow for sure, so if anyone in my History group is reading, email me with anything that you need done for the newscast and I'll do it and just email it to Cat or Lia. Fucking Fuck.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

no more projectile vomiting

Okay, am I not allowed to have good news anymore? Gee whiz. My big, fat dog got put to sleep today...I'm so sad...he was like my retarded little brother that couldn't talk, but he could lick himself and try to fornicate with blankets. But in other news, the people who work at the pool are the most annoying people I have ever met. Oh yeah! The projectile vomiting is completely over. Yay!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

praying to the porcelain God

Okay...what the hell did I do to piss God off? Because I have the flu with a vengence. I can't even drink water without throwing it up...yes, I know, nice image. My mom is making me carry around a can of Lysol with me so I don't infect her and my dad. Y-U-C-K! Somehow I don't think that I'll be seeing you guys in school on Monday.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

way to sleep the day away

Wow, I just woke up from what I meant to be a nice little nap...I most definitely slept through lunch and dinner. Okay...I know that I promised myself that I wouldn't go on the after Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza, but I just couldn't help myself. I drove up to Target and found a whole bunch of gift bags for a dollar made my day. And they're so pretty! Oh, and before the excruciatingly long nap, I did watch a little Phil of the Future...and Ricky Ullman is pretty hot. Okay, news flash, Galaxy Quest is not a good movie...why is my dad watching it? Argh, I want to post some pictures, but my digital camera is being a fucktard. Talk to y'all later.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

happy turkey day

As much as I like is the day of the turkey...and cranberries. Geez Cat, how can you not enjoy turkey and cranberries? Well, its good to hear that all of your Thanksgiving's have gone good...mine was somewhat tolerable, but I think I offended my grandmother...I said something completely benevolent to her...and she left! Ouch! Oh and I used to watch Mr. Dressup as well. I woke up at 10:00 this morning and helped cook and stuff...which consisted of opening the cranberry and olive cans and pouring them into bowls, but hey, I HELPED! Then I just kinda waited around for my odd family to arrive. It was rather uneventful. I won't delve into the family issues incase someone from my family accidentally stumbles onto this blog. And then I went to work. Which was saucy. And then I came home. All in all it was a good day.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

how hot is this?

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')

Monday, November 22, 2004

Yeah, I'm just good like that

Oh, I made a webshots thing with all of our photos on it...because I'm that cool.

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

no tears

Okay, let me clarify, no tears at the banquet...Allison made me cry during 4th hour. The banquet was perfect this year. Oh, and they love me, they really love me! They got me some gift cards AND a pomegranate!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You heard correct, I got a pomegranate! That made my month. And now I can finally talk about the captains...J'aime Cappy Duke! and Liz Butler!

Sunday, November 7, 2004

yeah girls swim team!

I'd just like to take this time to say how proud I am of the girls swim team, they are both dual meet champions and MAC Blue champions. Oh, and Cat got 4th in the 200 Free, 3rd in the 100 Fly, and 1st in both of her relays. Yay! I was so proud of this team that I cried when the score was read. Yes, you read right...Sam cried...infront of people! OMG, the sleepover at the pool was a lot of fun, too. We swam for hours and played with the resistance rubberband things. Oh, and we went onto the roof, where I was attached to Cat via elbow...I don't know what persuaded me to go onto the roof...I'm DEATHLY afraid of heights...I can go up the ladder to get to the roof, however, going down is just a little too scary pour moi. We also went into the tunnel that goes somewhat around the pool...that was rather scary the first time, but after that, it wasn't so bad, it was dustier than shit though.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

so shoot me

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged in a month...I've just been to busy. OMG am I busy...

Sunday, October 31, 2004

centralis was...........special

Cat and I definitely just spent 14 hours together yesterday...and we did not kill each other, thank you very much Lia! We sang for about 5 hours to This Love by Maroon 5 and Landslide by the Dixie was stupendous. Oh, and we stopped on the side of the road so Cat could run through a corn field. And we got super lost in Saginaw. I updated the webshots album with some photos from yesterday. Here's a few:
You are guests in my corn!!

Jacques has competetion:

Just a little friendly anal probing:

Friday, October 29, 2004

my tongue is peeling

Okay, I know that's a nice image. I just had a bite of hamburger helper (I was a hamburger helper virgin until 2 minutes ago) and I didn't realize that it was capable of burning my face off. There' s little bits of tongue melting off. Okay, I'll stop talking about that now. Centralis is tomorrow...I might just kill myself, but Cat and I are gonna have a little road trip, so it won't be that bad. Except for the country music, THAT will be bad. Oh yeah, I've gotta upload some interesting pictures, maybe I'll do that when I get home. Bubbye.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

porquoi moi?

Okay, I'm so ready to jump infront of a bus right now, it's not even funny. I go to Jiffy Lube to get my oil changed this morning, and they couldn't do it because I have a GAS LEAK. Way to go. So now I don't think I can drive my GD car until I get it fixed. I'm so outta money, I have less than $100 in my bank account right now, I really can't pay to get this piece of shit fixed...and to top it off, in all the rain/wind storms that have been attacking us lately, a tree branch fell out of a tree and on to my windsheild, making a beautiful crack.

Sunday, October 3, 2004

happy happy joy joy

Oh my God...Homecoming was the funnest (so, it's not a word) thing I've ever done! I definately grabbed a few guys' asses, namely Chris, Jeff and Jake. Yeah, I get around. Lia put some pictures on her website. Too funny...and no, in the first picture I AM NOT MAKING OUT WITH CAT. Oh and I got written up at work because I called in for homecoming...when they already knew that I couldn't come...I almost hope they fire me. My mom is watching the worst movie in the world right now: Twister. I hate it with a passion, maybe it's because of the flying cows.

we are not lesbians

Everyone needs to go to Lia's website and look at the pictures from homecoming...they are tres saucy. The first one isn't from homecoming, it's from the pep assembly on Friday. Please keep in mind that Cat and I are playing the pass the orange game and NOT MAKING OUT, with that said, it looks like I'm trying to eat Cat's neck. Looking at these pictures made me cry, they are just that funny. Okay, I've gotta go to bed. Right now.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Wanna know why I haven't posted?

I'VE BEEN AT WORK FOR NINE DAYS STRAIGHT!! Now that I officially want to die, the running total of people who have been fired/quit is 4 since the beginning of this month. Cat- Now do you want to work here? Argh. Oh yeah...Lia, I'm gonna kill you and you're little friend Denny. At least my date isn't a sophmore! Yeah, so what if it's Cat, I DON'T CARE!! Okay, I think my tantrum is over now. FINE! I won't kill Lia, happy now?

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Kill Me Now

Okay, it's official, I'm going to homecoming, I bought a dress today. Oh, and Lia...Alisha isn't on the schedule. I'm going to kill the Village of East Harbor (Presbyterian Village's pretentious new name). Every day that we don't have a swim meet, I'm working.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

my week in review

Before you ask, yes, I do feel guilty for not blogging in the last week, I've just been too busy. Here's the rundown: School, practice, work; school, practice, work; school, practice, work; school, swim meet; school, practice, work, ice skating; work, nap, work; wash cars, work. So, I apologize. Oh, and yesterday at work, this girl freaked out because she assumed that I said something rude about the spoons, and she made up this story and told my supervisor. Too bad my supervisior likes me and not her. Haha. And by the way, Lia quit on Friday because people have been real assholes to her lately...which sucks. Alright, I've gotta get off the computer.

Saturday, September 4, 2004

they love me...they really love me

Oh Peter, Paul and Mary! My mom and dad got me a car for my birthday! Well, I paid for half of it...but that's besides the point. I got a Midnight Blue 92 Ford Explorer. I did almost the same exact thing that Cat did when my mom told her we weren't moving **giggles**. And they got me a $50 Target card. This is the best birthday I've ever had. Cat got me Peter Pan on dvd...she really knows me. Lia got me an Italian Dictionary (Yay!!!) and the book As Luck Would Have It. Oh, and my grandma took me book shopping. Here's something funny: after paying for the car, I have $13.42 left in my bank account. I forgot to tell y'all about what Cat and Sarah did, on Thursday, I rode with them to the pool, and they dropped me off because Sarah had to get a "personal item". So they come back ten minutes later with a bouquet of balloons (which later flew out of my no fault of my own) and the whole swim team sang for me. Then Cat and Lia and I went out to Applebee's because I felt like an idiot for sitting at home with my parents on my 17th birthday, and the Applebee's people embarrassed the shit out of me (okay, bad image). But I got a sundae out of the deal. Then we went shopping for underwear for the underwear chain. More on that tomorrow. I've gotta go make the house immaculately clean for my mom's surprise party tomorrow. Love y'all. (Once again, stop using y'all)

Wednesday, September 1, 2004

Rabbit, Rabbit

Yeah, the title pretty much sums it up.

Monday, August 30, 2004

My gaydar never fails

Remember Playing It Straight? Bradley is GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it. Sorry Cat & Lia, I know you loved him. There were only 5 straight guys on the entire show. If you don't believe me, follow this link and go to bios.
Alex -- Law student, Washington, DC
Bill -- Event promoter, Valley Glen, CA
Bradley -- Bartender, Pflugerville, PA
Chad -- Corporate communications, Austin, TX
Chris -- Retired entrepreneur, Atlanta, GA
Eddie -- School teacher, Miami, FL
John -- Bartender, Atlanta, GA
Lee -- Financial consultant, N. Huntington, PA
Luciano -- Personal trainer, Miami Beach, FL

Banks -- Software consultant, San Diego, CA
Gust -- Real estate agent, Chicago, IL
Louis -- Manager, brokerage firm, Fort Worth, TX
Ryan -- Waiter, Santa Monica, CA
Sharif -- Musician, Arlington, VA

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Happy Birthday Daddio

Gossip Girl is gonna be a movie! ...I bet Cat will wanna see it because Lindsay Lohan is her lesbian life partner. Did I just say that out loud? Oops. *bad Sam* I was just gonna post saying that I would shut down the blog if posts didn't start picking up, so your timing is impeccable. Oh! Today's my dad's birthday, he's 48. I made him a three layer cake because I'm just that good of a daughter. I also have to figure out what to do for my mom's birthday, it's next Sunday. And if anyone was wondering *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* my birthday is on Friday. Love y'all. Mental note: Try to say y'all less often.

Friday, August 27, 2004

the happiest moment of my life

Yesterday, my aunt told me that Michael Phelps is going to swim for U of M! Maybe I'll fill out an application. That could possibly be the most shallow thing I have ever said...but who cares? Michael Phelps is going to U of M!


I'm so obsessed with the word fjord right now, and I don't know why. Yes, its an actual word...its a narrow inlet from the sea, usually bounded by cliffs. Oh, and if you don't think i'm crazy already, it came to me in a dream. So anyways, I'm the new manager for the swim team, I'm so happy! That team is like my second family...well most of them anyways. I've found new and interesting ways to be an idiot, the most recent was yesterday. I was out school shopping, so I picked up Braveheart for my dad's birthday tomorrow, then when I got home, I set it on the table and went to work. Guess who found it? DADDY!! Was it really that hard to figure out? I feel like I should get him something else now. Damn. Okay, I'm gonna get off the compute before I start taking my aggression out on the keyboard. I'll just watch some sweaty guys play volleyball.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

what not to do on a 4-wheeler

I'm such a dick. I went camping with my dad last week, and all went well until we rented 2 4-wheelers. Bad idea. So, 20 minutes after I get on mine, I find a way to crash it into a tree. And break it...$250.00 worth of damage and some beautiful bruises to accompany it. What happened was, I was going 10 mph down a hill, and I got pulled into some deep sand and I couldn't find the break, and CRUNCH!!! I hit the tree and fly about 10 feet into a patch of moss surrounded by a whole lotta wood. Then I crawled from the woods onto the path that my dad and I were on, so he would see me when he came looking for me, because I wasn't behind him anymore. I was so upset, not because I was hurt, but because my dad had to pay for the damage. I'm a dork. At some point, I'll post some pictures of both the bruises and the tree...its that good.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Well, its been 5 whole days since my last post, though I really wouldn't call that one a post. I'm so excited, I'm going up north with my dad Tuesday night and we're gonna do a whole bunch of fun stuff, we're gonna go 4-wheeling, parasailing, horseback riding and possibly jet skiing...but don't tell my mom, she only knows that we're going up north, so if anyone leaks this information to her, I will personally kill you. On a less violent note, I've discovered that my mom's fried chicken is unbelievably good when it is cold. Speaking of fried chicken, I came home from Blockbuster on Thursday to find Cat and Chris in my kitchen, my mom in the garage and Chris frying the was a very strange scene. He's such a domestic! Oh, and I'm very mad at the sewer pipes that are in front of every house on my street right now, for undisclosed reasons...yet another thing my parents can't find out. Oh, I saw The Princess Diaries 2 the other day with Lia and Nicole, it was pretty good, but the floor was really sticky. Oh, one of my favorite residents died the other day, damn it, we aren't supposed to get attached. I'm doing my summer calculus homework right now...I could really use a good game of tourettes. Umm...I don't think that there's really anything else to cover, I just know that y'all are on the edge of your seat anyways.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The Best Quote Ever

I think that this is one of the the absolute funniest quotes I have ever heard.
I'll come while you doink -- Cat

Monday, August 9, 2004

my so called life

I'm so boring, I haven't anything to blog about...oh, but I might be going parasailing in a week or so. Yay.

Fucking sad movies

Okay, I think that I broke my elbow. I hit it on the stupid trash compactor at work and now its still tingling. Oh, and by the way, whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH Second Hand Lions. I cried for over half of that stupid was good though.

Thursday, August 5, 2004

I'm gonna kick some ass

I'm in a bad mood about work right now, I got my 3 month evaluation last night and my supervisor told me that I was doing a good job, but when I got my evaluation, it said that I meet some expectations. Argh. So right now, work can suck it...not all of them at once though. In other news, I just had to stomach peach yogurt, and trust me, that was no walk in the park, peaches are the one of the most disgusting fruits, along with watermelon, grapefruit, and pears. I'm gonna cut this post short, because I keep staring at the wall instead of focusing on the computer screen.

Monday, August 2, 2004

daddy is a hick

Work sucked big ass today, then my dad picked me up and looked like such a hick...he wasn't wearing a shirt, he looked like he was plucked right out of Osgood, Indiana. Then we almost got hit by this girl who wasn't looking where she was driving. Oh, but anyways, at work, Lia and I had to run the mats through the dish machine and I was putting them on a rack, so I got soaking wet, I looked like I had just gone swimming. I can't wait to go to sleep. In fact, I'm gonna go to bed in 11 minutes, I just have to do the dishes first.

Sunday, August 1, 2004

Rabbit, Rabbit

Oh yeah, I've got good luck all month long!

save a horse, ride a cowboy

I'm getting fed up with the music at work, its all country all the time. Oh, by the way, I HATE COUNTRY MUSIC with a passion, there's only a select few songs that I like. It's like the people at work don't know that there is other music to listen to, just WYCD. Yes, I have memorized the radio station thing. I really want to play a game of tourettes.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

take cover!...hide the children!...the quotes are coming!

Wow, the first batch of good quotes since school!  Here we go:
 1. I don't get any service between my legs -- Allison -- Really?  I do 
 2. Catherine, stop wiggling, you're getting me excited -- Allison -- Why do all of the parties at my house turn weird?
 3. I'm not cattle, quit prodding me! -- me -- Moooo...I mean...damn it
 4. No one names their penis Nemo -- Allison -- How do you know?
 5. Feel Cat -- Allison -- Ya know, I'd rather not
 6. I often plook when I hit Jerry's Pizza trucks -- Allison -- What is the definition of a plook?
 7. You just said stroke and cox (cocks...hehe) in the same sentence -- Allison --Naughty, naughty
 8. There's an ass light -- Allison -- See, now that's not something I have in my room
 9. It doesn't need thumbs, it has a very skilled tongue -- Allison -- Let's not even get into that one

10. I enjoy it slow -- me -- Pretty self explanitory, isn't it?
11. Is it going down easy? -- Lia -- Yes, yes it is
12. I pulled the stick out -- Amanda -- Good, it shouldn't stay in for too long
13. I'm a one handed prophet -- Amanda -- Yeah, or a curbside prophet
14. I'm drying out my knee! -- Lia -- Okay!  Have fun with that!
15. What is it, elephant butt hair? -- Amanda -- Yes...
16. My fart! -- me -- This is what happens when Lia farts on your foot
17. Suck it! -- Amanda -- No!
18. Don't you put your finger in my fuzzy! -- me -- Oooh saucy
19. We're drunken tourettes with gas problems -- Cat -- Nope, no gas problems here, that's Lia and Cat

20. She's awake...I'm rollin' on her -- Cat -- That's...interesting

21. Kristine has a cold butt -- Cat -- I'm enlightened


the pureed beets incident

Oh My God! Yesterday was so much fun! We had a surprise party for Cat's 17th birthday. Lia and I were talking on the phone like 4 days ago and decided that we should have a surprise party, and everything actually worked, except for the fact that I forgot to tell some people to spend the night...but all in all it was a blast. Oh, so anyways, Cat nearly foiled our plans by deciding to meet us at Tim Hortons rather than have us pick her up, so Lia and I were on the phone for about 1 hour trying to figure out new way to make this party work. So, everyone was supposed to arrive at 8-ish and just chill upstairs until Lia, Cat and I got back from Timmy's, but when Cat decided to drive, Lia and I decided that I should stay at my house while she went and stalled Cat at Tim Hortons...but being the coniving bitch that I am, I came up with a lie at the last minute: (oh, btw, Lia and I told Cat that we had to work so that we could stall it as long as possible) Lia met Cat at Timmy's and told her that I had to go home real quick and take a shower because I somehow managed to get pureed beets in my hair and I would meet them there at 8:30 (it's scary when that kind of lie is believable)...but Lia and I both knew that I wouldn't be going up their at all, I just had to wait until everyone got there, then I could call Lia and tell her to just come over. Almost everything went according to plan, but Kristine couldn't make it until later. Anyways, back at my house, I had everyone hiding upstairs and when Cat and Lia arrived, we went upstairs, of course Cat had to go first. We sure surprised her, she almost fell down the stairs...we even made her cry! I think there were ten people there at one point, and we all chipped in to get her a dvd player and some dvd's. Lia, Cat, Kristine and Amanda ended up spending the night, and we started playing a game called "Fruits" but we soon adapted it to fit our own taste...lets just say tourettes would have been a more appropriate name. We didn't go to sleep until about 6:00 this morning, so I'm running on 3.5 hours of sleep.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

the tranquilizer dart

I just yawned and it sounded like Will Ferrell when he got hit with a tranquilizer dart in Old School...and then I laughed for like 5 minutes...alone.

Monday, July 26, 2004

the athiest gay lesbian

Wow, last night Lia and I were talking on the phone...actually it was this morning, but anyways, she was looking at scholarships and there was one for athiest gays and lesbians.  For some reason that made me laugh so hard, but a lot of things make me laugh really hard after midnight.  I think she actually kept some quotes!  Today is gonna suck some big ass, I have to clean the house all day and my bedroom is a disaster area.  I'm really in the mood to watch How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days and I don't know why.  Oh, I forgot to tell you guys about my near panic attack last night.  This one seriously makes me doubt my sanity.  So, I was getting a spoon so I could get some cottage cheese out of the container and I open the drawer only to find that the tea spoons are where the soup spoons go and vice versa...I completely flipped out for half of a minute.  I was like "Oh my God mom, what happened to the spoons!  Mom, can you hear me?  I don't know what happened, they're in the wrong spot!"  She practically had to talk me down.  I think I need to go on some sort of anti-phsycotic medication.  Okay, enough for now, maybe I'll go for a bike ride.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

So much for being on time...

I am so not in the mood to go to work. Oh shit! My uniforms are in the washer...I must dry them right now! Bubbye.

Friday, July 23, 2004

is that another penis guy?

My grandma is such a goof-ball, we were driving down I-94 and this really old guy was driving a little sports car, so my grandma asks if he's another penis guy...I guess I'll explain a little, my mom told my grandma that old guys who drive cars like that are making up for something *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*.  I went to a used book store and got 6 or 7 books for thirty dollars, I'm so happy, I got The Devil Wears Prada and Bridget Jones's Diary among other things.  And then I sucked on popsicles until my mouth started to bleed.  I always seem to do that.  Oh, I just remembered something!  I was vaccuuming the other day and my cat was laying at the bottom of the stairs, hissing at the vaccuum.  It was actually kind of funny.  Before I go, I'm going to leave another shameless plug for my new blog good times, good times.  Yeah, so the name is the same as the old one, but otherwise it's cool. 

Thursday, July 22, 2004

oh my Ford!

Brave New World is kind of a weird book, but it's interesting all the same.  One thing that struck me odd was that instead of using the word 'God', they used 'Ford'...yes, Henry Ford is their deity.  I think I'm going to start using Ford, its kinda fun and it confuses people.  I have to go make my dad's stupid lunch.  That means I have to touch mayonnaise...for all of you that don't know of my aversion to mayonnaise, besides the fact that its egg whites and the tender age of five, my brother convinced me that mayonnaise was glue, and even though I, a sixteen year old, know that mayonnaise is not glue, I can't use it.  Well, that was enough insight for one day.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Okay...I'm gonna end all the depressing shit after today.  The funeral was today...oh my God...seeing grown men cry is the most unnerving thing in the entire world.  The most ironic thing happened though today...the daughter of guy that died went into labor today.  Anyways, I'm a really bad person, I realized that I make fun of funerals.  I'm going straight to stops on the way....just a one way ticket.  But how could I resist?  There was this one lady with a beard, this other lady is just a bitch, another guy looked like a weasel, and this one guy had a soul patch, but he was like 50.  I felt so sorry for his sons, Aaron and Chris, they are 27 and 20 and they're the two nicest people I know.  And the last depressing thing....I can't stand to look at dead bodies, they never look like the people that they were.  Sooooo.....If you didn't get an invitation to join my blog forum, I probably didn't have your email, so email me and I'll invite you.  Bubbye!

Saturday, July 17, 2004

it's a good thing

Has anyone started reading Brave New World yet?  It's actually kinda good.  I'm really not looking forward to reading Frankenstein though, I'm sorry, but I'm just not into monsters.  Oh, and did anyone hear that Martha Stewart is going to jail for 5 months?  It's a good thing.  No, really, I think it's a bit excessive.  Anyways, I have to go tape Inuyasha for Lia, so I must leave you all now.

recycling blogs

Hey, I made a new blog, but this one is gonna be like a forum, different people can post, not just me...oh my gosh, does this mean I have to relinquish editorial control?  Anyways, if you want to join, email me and i'll add you to the list...yes, the list.

everything's different now

Can you tell I was bored?  I'm guessing that all of you are confused by the new title, it's something that my aunt will understand though!  All i can tell you is that my aunt's friend said that these two dogs looked like a dishrag and a raisin, and I just can't get that out of my head.  I'm finally starting to understand how to do some html crap, but I really have no clue what I'm doing.  I have to go to bed now, I'll post again today though.  Bubbye.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

osckey, the lesser known mouse

I don't know what my problem is, but i had the Oscar Meyer weiner song stuck in my head, then all of the sudden it turned into the Mickey Mouse song, and when it got to the part when you spell Mickey Mouse, it went like this: O-S-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E.  How screwed up is that?

why do people die?

Holy f***!  Okay, I'm officially freaked out right now.  My dad's oldest friend, who he hasn't talked to in about 4 years because some stupid fight they had, died at work of a heart attack today.  He was practically my uncle...and his daughter, Shannon, is 9 months pregnant.  It seems so unreal.  In other news, I'm not going to go to U of M, because I was talking to an architect and he said that an architecture degree from U of M doesn't mean shit, so I'm probably going to go to CMU for 2 years and then I'll go to either Arizona State, Texas A & M, Virginia Tech, or Georgia Tech.  My brain is fried now, I can't even concentrate on blogging.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

if wishes were raindrops...

So I'm out on my daily bike ride (10.11 miles, Yay me) and a torrential rainstorm starts, but me, being the dork that I am rode right through rained for about 5 miles. I'm pretty much soaked to the bone, sitting here typing this vital information. I never thought dry clothes sounded so good. I'm contemplating renaming my blog, good times, good times is gettin' kind of old. Laters.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

we all have our proclivities

Yep, you guessed it, I learned a new word today! Proclivity, which means predisposition. If I were any more of a nerd, it would hurt.

the whole world is out to get me

Okay, so that was a little melodramatic...but nothing seems to be going my way what so ever. And as if my life didn't suck enough, Blockbuster probably won't be getting season 2 of my current obsession, Six Feet Under. Good grief! Oh! I did rent Bad Santa...I couldn't resist, it looked too funny to pass up, something about a naughty santa just brightens my day. Okay...I just caught my dog staring at me and when I looked at him, he averted his eyes. Wow, I really need to get my summer reading books done, I haven't even bought them yet. I'd write more, but my dear mum is making me clean the bathroom. See y'all later.

Monday, July 12, 2004

msu sucks

I hate MSU with a passion right now. It seems like it and every other university I want to go to doesn't offer architecture as a I just thought I'd share that with y'all. Bubbye.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

the girl who slept too much

Yeah, so I wake up this morning at 11:53, already pissed off that I had slept in so much, so I went downstairs and had breakfast and then I went on my bike ride. That's when it hit me...I was supposed to help out with the triathalon this morning at 6:00. I was so mad for a fraction of a second and then realized that there was nothing I could do about it. Yesterday I didn't blog because I was obsessive compulsively rearranging my bedroom...and listening to the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix audio book. I wish I wasn't so weird, because I have to rearrange my bedroom every few months, otherwise I can't stand to be in it. I actually want to go to work today, I'm such a freak. Oh and p.s. I love you Uncle Bill!

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

the crazy southerner strikes again

Oh my God, she just said "Warshington" instead of "Washington"!

i don't like strangers

There's some crazy assed woman in my house right now who might be moving in to a house on to our block. She's really weird and kind of abrasive, she also has an annoying southern accent. I have no idea who the hell she is, I guess she wanted to ask my mom about the neighborhood, so I guess she doesn't know who she is either. Oh my God! She just said "warsh" instead of "wash". I think I'm going to go crazy, maybe I'll go do the grocery shopping for my mom so I can get the hell out of here. Oh, here's a quote from my dear mother:

I feel like going in my bedroom and meowing really loud to wake up the cat -- mom -- Okay, so she doesn't sound completely crazy, my cat does that to her every morning, and he knocks stuff off of her dresser, but that's besides the point.

Monday, July 5, 2004

people are weird

Since I let you all in on my sleeping habits yesterday, I'll tell you today as well. I'm now a total reverse insomniac, instead of the mere two hours of sleep I got yesterday, I slept for 14 hours last night...yes I do realize that I have some issues. I think I'm officially going crazy, I was staring absentmindedly at my front door and I think the design in the door looks like a, way too much Rocky Horror. I am so conflicted about which college to go to at the moment, I think I'm going to apply to U of M, EMU, CMU, and State, but U of M is kinda expensive. I think I'm gonna apply to University of Chicago, because I really, really want to live there, and the out of state tuition is about the same as U of M. Oh my God! I just remembered something that happened last night: I was playing Gin (rummy) online with Lia...I know, what a suprise, its what we do every night...anyways, and I created a table and this girl joins it, so I boot her from the table, so then she instant messages me and calls me a "rude slut". I feel so loved. I took out my rage on her and then ignored her, I did use a few words that I would never say out loud, just to make her feel like shit for a second. I've gotta go fix my computer, its being stupid. Bubbye.

Sunday, July 4, 2004

boys don't make passes at girls with big gashes

I'm officially an insomniac, I went to sleep at 7:00 this morning. I put some of the time to good use though, I watched some episodes of Six Feet Under. By the way, I'm such a dork, I wanted to rent the first dvd, with the first few episodes on it, but I accidentally rented the one with episodes 8-10 on it. I think I'm gonna try and get off of work for tomorrow, I feel like I got ran over with a freight train. I've been procrastinating going to work, but now I must go.

Saturday, July 3, 2004

procrastination is the key

Yeah, I know its been a long time since I've done quotes, but here's one to start anew:

I'm a pat rack -- Lia -- Oh, yeah yar

Friday, July 2, 2004

british people and my enormous dog

I forgot to tell you guys that I had to vaccuum my dog today. He's such a hairy beast, I swear that his hair grows at the same rate that I brush...or in today's case vaccuum it. I just got back from going out with Lia and Jeff, we had so much fun doing nothing. I really like trying to guess where people are from based on their accents, we couldn't decide where our waitress was from, she sounded like Mrs. (Miss?) Doubtfire. Lia finally asked her where she was from...and the verdict? She's British, my favorite. I think I'm going to throw up, my dad insists on watching "Nature's Nightmares: Bug Attack". This guy is getting stung voluntarily by different bugs...I'm seriously flipping out.

boy do i love the irish

Oooh, I got School of Rock and Under The Tuscan Sun today! I'm such a dork about movies. Ummmmm...let's see, I'm eating some turkey bacon right now. I think it's kind of a weird concept, because when you think of bacon, you think of pigs...well, at least I do, but whatever, it's better than pig bacon. I'm kinda mad at whoever named the moon, cause it should really have a name, Jupiter's moons have cool names, like Io and Europa...we should name it Agamemnon. My dad and my brother are watching The Recruit right now...Colin Farrel is really fricken hot. Okay, now I have to watch The Recruit. Bubbye.
P.S. Love you Uncle Bill

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

will ferrell is my god

Oh my God!! I'm watching the best of Will Ferrell from is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't think everyone can appreciate his humor, but it is so funny, especially the Blue Oyster Cult sketch. Shut up, I know what you're thinking, who the hell is the Blue Oyster Cult? They sing "Don't Fear The Reaper", and there's a cow bell in the song....I'm gonna stop talking now, but for anyone who wants to see the sketch, here's a link. I must go do the dishes.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

yes....i am a nerd

Wow, I just realized that yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my leaving for seems like that was a few months ago, not four years ago.

the extraordinary peeing cat

OH MY GOD, I'm going to kill my f***ing cat. I had all of my work clothes in the laundry basket because I had just washed them (duh!), so my cat decides that he has to go pee on them because they're not clean enough already. I'm seriously goinna kill him. Now I have dry my clothes, I just thought I'd share my cats stupid antics with y'all.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

don't make fun of the juice

I went to Bay-Rama...I know, I'm such a hypocrite, but the Scrambler was calling my name. Anyways, Lia and her brother and I went to Bay-Rama at 10:00, only to find out that the wristbands aren't usable after 10:00, and each ticket costs $1.00, so it cost each of us $3.00 to ride the Scrambler. Work sucked ass again today and Paula wasn't even there, everyone was just in a bad mood. Oh and I don't think that the world is ready for pomegranate juice, 'cause I bought some on my way to work and I was drinking it in the office before we started working, anyways, its in a weird bottle, so everyone was curious about it, so I let them try it. They decided that it tasted like prune juice...what a buzz kill. But I don't care if they make fun of my juice, because they just aren't cool enough to understand the juice. I have to go to bed right now, I just stared at the wall for a good five minutes before I realised that I was staring at the wall. Goodnight.

paula...the work nazi

I'm really surprised at how good the fireworks were last night, they were more than a 1/2 hour long. My mom and I sat on the roof and we had a pretty good view, except for this one big-assed tree that was trying to make it harder for us to see. Work sucked ass yesterday, but its always like that when I have to work with Paula. I seriously think that she tries to be unpleasant, I don't think she's said two words to me since I've been there, except for telling me how I should do my job. I really, really hate people that try to tell me how to do my job, its like she wants to be superior over me...oh, oh wait, I guess she is, 'cause she's on "full time" and I'm only part time. But anyway, I did enjoy freaking a few people out while I was on my roof. Wow, I think this is the most uninteresting post I've ever done. I don't know if anyone watches Conan O'Brien, but he is so damn funny, but in a very self-deprecating way. Maybe I'll write more later, but I'm just not in the mood right now.

Friday, June 25, 2004

i don't want to teach anyone how to do porter

I'm removing the comment thing, 'cause no one says anything anyways. Last night, I was laying on my roof, waiting for the fireworks to start and talking to Lia on the phone, when I saw a group of people walking on the street below me and one of them said something along the lines of that's Sam's house, so I yelled something at them and scared ' turned out to be Stephanie Johnston and a whole bunch of other people...that was the highlight of my day. Wow, I'm pretty pathetic. Oh, at work, they had me training some girl on porter, I don't know why they had me training her, I've only been there for a month-ish, anyways, she did the biggest half-assed job I've ever seen in my life, she didn't even try. Ugh...I hate stupid people. I think I'm going to make a habit of laying on my roof, its really weird, but I like it. I better not be training on porter today, that is my least favorite job so far, it's basically grunt work, mopping and sweeping and the other bullshit that that entails. I've gotta go do my laundry before my dad kills me, so maybe I'll update later...then again maybe not.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

embrace the man bag

Okay...I have the TV on right now and Living It Up With Ali And Jack is on and there was a designer guy on it and he said "Embrace the man bag". Yay...the man bag actually looks good. They say a lot of funny words on this show for example, pizzaz and biker chic.

too much information

I officially don't dislike Robin Williams anymore, I saw him on Inside The Actors Studio, he was unbelievably funny. So, I walked around Bay-Rama yesterday...its getting more pathetic by the year, they don't even have a Matterhorn type thingy, and that's a staple. Attention: Those faithful readers that do not want to hear something disgusting, do not read any further. I do not enjoy being told things that I don't want to hear, for example: The person, who will remain nameless, that sat next to me in English last semester said that she was really happy that she started her period. As a sane person, I said "You're crazy." Then she said that she had had a yeast infection for the last three months. AT WHICH JUNCTURE DID I ASK ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF HER ANATOMY? Oh yeah...I DIDN'T. But that's not all. I'm at work and this lady that I work with was drinking a pitcher of cranberry juice, and I said nothing. So she said that her doctor said that she needed to drink a lot of cranberry juice. I said something like "Well, at least it tastes good." I didn't need to hear why she had to drink the cranberry juice, I deduced that it had something to do with something I didn't want to know about. She went on to say that she had a urinary tract infection. Once again: AT WHICH JUNCTURE DID I ASK ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF HER ANATOMY? Sometimes I just don't want to know things. Anyone who didn't want to read anything disgusting may continue reading here: Oh, and how ghetto is Detroit? We were starting to look good, for like a week or two, because of the Pistons, but then yesterday some idiot shot nine people at the cliche. I swear, as soon as I finish college, I'm off to Chicago, or some other kick ass city. By the way, why is it that every state has a cool big city except Michigan? New York has one, Illinois has one, California has like 50, Washington has one, Colorado has one, even Idaho has one...why not us? Oh and I put a link to my blogger profile...sometimes I can be such a nerd. I wanna go on vacation....right now.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

why do i like the weird movies?

Oohh, one of my favorite movies is on TV right now, Slingblade. Shut up, its a good movie. Speaking of movies, I watched the movie Skins, starring one of my boyfriends, Eric Schweig, and I was blown away. The main character and his brother are pretty much the same people as my dad and his brother. Ugh...I've gotta go, I'll post again later.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

drum roll please...scary movie 3 wins the award for a movie that least resembles a movie

I'm gonna murder my is the biggest piece of shit I've ever tried to type I don't try to type on shit, for the most part. I would like everyone to know that Scary Movie 3 is the absolute stupidest movie I have ever had the misfortune of renting. I'm gonna watch the Bay-rama fireworks from my roof tomorrow, 'cause I'm just that cool. I have nothing else to type, but if you don't hear anything from me tomorrow, it's because my parents blamed me for the computer mishap and subsequently killed me. Goodbye for now...or forever.

Monday, June 21, 2004

do carnies really smell like cabbage?

Well, I was on my morning bike ride today and I remembered something I'd rather have forgotten. They're setting up for the Fish Fly Festival a.k.a Bay-Rama. has become my least favorite time of the summer. Don't get me wrong, I like to go down there and see all my friends who still enjoy going on the rides and stuff, but people park all over our lawn with reckless abandon and its really loud. Wow, I sound like I'm about 60. Anyways, I just don't like seeing all of the drunk people, they freak me out, and what about the carnies? They smell funny, in fact, they smell worse then the awful fishflies. And speaking of those disgusting creatures that live for 24 hours and have no point what-so-ever to their lives, what kind of town names their annual carnival after these annoying little bugs anyways? Who wants to celebrate the annual invasion of these little creatures, they attache themselves to the walls and for a few weeks, you can't walk two feet withouth stepping on them. In fact, someone once wrote into the Johnny Carson show and said that we were the fish fly capital of the world. Now I feel special. On the bright side, I get to watch the fireworks from my roof, and any reason to be on the roof is a good reason. Oh oh, I get to go to a book store today, yippee! And I don't have to work until Thursday! Three cheers for me! I could almost sing, but I'll save you from that thought. Here's something I never, ever do, but I'm going to put the lyrics from a really good song up, 'cause I like it that much:

If wishes were horses
I’d ride a fast one
If wishes were wings
I’d fly wild and free
If wishes were trains
I’d be on the last one
If wishes came true
You’d be loving me

If wishes were blue skies
I’d never get rained on
I’d walk in the sun
Whenever I please
If wishes were dreams
I’d dream the same one
Over and over
Of you loving me

I whisper your name
On each star I see falling
That old wishing well
Gets each penny I find
And every year I blow out every candle
And close my eyes
And wish you were mine
Oh if wishes came true
Then you would be mine

Sorry for that. By the way, that's the song that I can't decide if its country or not. Now I have to get ready to go to the book store. Bubbye.

Friday, June 18, 2004

do you want some eggs? yeah, but only if I can eat them off of your belly button

Trevor spent the night last night because our grandma was taking us out today, we went to the Rain Forest Cafe at Great Lakes Crossing. It is the single noisiest place I have ever eaten, there were elephants and gorillas and thunderstorms, and it kind of smells like Universal Studios...shut up, it does, I swear I'm not crazy. Anyways, I had coconut shrimp, it was soooooooo good. Oh oh...I got another architecture book today, I wish I wasn't such a nerd, but I guess I'll just have to take it in stride, its all about bedrooms and bathrooms...YAY! Wow, I feel sorry for the innocent people that stumble across this blog, I must sound insane. Oh, I forgot, last night I was watching a movie on my computer with my headphones because some eleven year old had to watch the Simpsons, so when that unbelievably stupid show was over with, he came over and started watching the movie with me...with no sound, he quickly resorted to saying what he wanted the people on the screen to be saying, it was the funniest thing I have heard. Among the things he had the people say were: Friendship frenzy and this short exchange: Do you want some eggs? Yeah, but only if I can eat them off of your belly button. Such a strange kid, but I love him. I watched some more Inuyasha with Lia today, I don't know why I like it, but I do, so whatever. I think I'm going to read Harry Potter now, goodnight.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

please don't spit at me

Wow, some of the crazy old people at work are genuinely crazy. For instance, Chuck is this really nice old man, but he calls me Wendy, Debbie, and/or Liz, depending on the day and he calls every single guy Mike. Anyways, yesterday I was bussing tables with Tom and he spit at, Tom didn't spit at me, Chuck did. Thank God he missed, I think I would have died, I'm really not a big fan of bodily fluids. Oh, and this other lady says "shit" and "God damn it" in the presence of nuns, which by the way, is really fun to watch. So here's part two of the top ten things I hate about my job:

1. Being spit at -- which in my opinion is completely reasonable

2. Paul -- the male version of Paula, revert to part one

3. Burning my hands and arms on the dish machine

4. Getting soaked head to toe whilst scrubbing pots and pans because I forgot to put on a plastic apron

5. Getting yelled at by Mrs. Goodspeed -- she yelled at me for taking a cup that she was through with

6. Touching pickles -- get your mind out of the gutter, I can't stand the smell of pickles and I have to touch them on a daily, seriously GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

7. Mopping

8. Having dreams about work -- last night I had a dream that I stole a cookie out of the cookie box, which we are allowed to do, and I had to give it back even though it was half eaten

9. This one lady who sounds exactly like Kevin Meany -- she says "That's not right" whenever you take something that she's done with, for example, yesterday I took a fork that I don't even think was hers because hers was in her hand, and she said "That's not right", I tried my hardest not to laugh.

10. Washing the walls -- the bleach makes my hands burn and go all splotchy.

Okay, I have a confession to make...I'm a complete nerd. Almost every night, Lia and I go online and play...drumroll please...Backgammon. I think the people at work are rubbing off on us. Last night, I guess I fell asleep with my work pants on, so this morning at about 5:00, my mom came upstairs and stole them because it probably isn't sanitary to sleep in clothes that have at least a few communicable diseases on them...I don't like waking up with fewer clothes on then when I went to sleep. One more thing, I hate country music with a passion, but there's this one song called "Wishes" by Lari White, and I don't know what its called, but I love it...I really hope its not country, its against my religion to listen to country music...I could go to hell, or worse NASHVILLE!

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

if i could marry lemonade popsicles, i would

May I just start off by saying: THE PISTONS WON. And I must say that I am just as surprised as those cry baby Lakers are. Anyway, I don't watch sports, so I'm gonna stop talking about them too. Yesterday I was exposed to the anime show Inuyasha, its better than I expected, its kinda interesting. Oh, and after work, I went over to my grandma's house and we just sat there talking and eating lemonade popsicles, with the Piston's game on the TV, muted of course. We were quite a sight, but we only did it because my mom said that I would get in trouble if I didn't watch the game. Great, now I want lemonade. I'm going to con my parents into letting me get the internet in my bedroom, because everytime I want to go on the computer, my mom is Ebay-ing. She's such a dork. You know what I've noticed, every day I wake up later than the day before, here's my week so far: Monday: 8:30am Tuesday: 10:00am Wednesday: 11:10am. I'm guessing that by next week, I'll just wake up and go to work, I guess it doesn't help that I stay up until 4:00am, but that's besides the point. Speaking of work, I'm not looking forward to going today, its kind of like a fear of impending doom thing. Okay, I have to vaccuum, my mom will go crazy if I don't do it. Bubbye.

Friday, June 11, 2004

commericals ruin careers

I just saw that dad from Clarissa Explains It All in a Detrol LX commercial, "And I don't have to go right now."

the key that doesn't fit in any locks

Here's an update on the key that doesn't fit in any locks...I DIDN'T HAVE TO CLIMB IN MY WINDOW. The stupid key got stuck in the lock and that's why it wouldn't turn...when my mom came home, all she did was take the key and jiggle it, then turn it..and bam..she's in the house. She was proud of me though! Lia and I saw Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, not too shabby, I liked it better than the first two, and Harry was a lot cuter. Guess what! Harry Potter is gonna be at the IMAX theater at Henry Ford...I have to see it. I don't wanna take the ACTs tomorrow, they're at De La Salle, I'll probably be one of four girls there, and not that I'm complaining, it'll just be weird.

Thursday, June 3, 2004

oh yeah, i forgot to tell you that i was an escape artist

Okay...I think everyone is going to be really proud of Lia and I after I tell you this true story. Let me set the scene: My mom is taking her friend to chemotherapy today, so she won't be home until between 4:00 and 5:00. Lia drives into my driveway and I reach into my bag to get my keys...uh oh, they're not there, so I remember that my mom put a spare key in the I go put the key in the lock and as luck would have it, the key doesn't fit one lock in the whole now, I hate myself because I have to go to work at about 4:00 and I have no way to get my I walk into to the backyard in a last ditch effort to see if the key works for the garage, even though that wouldn't do me any good...and then I see it! I left my bedroom window open last night and the only thing stopping me from being inside my house is a screen and eight feet. So I go over to my neighbors house and his dad, who by the way is about 65, and he let me borrow a big ladder and his buck knife and Lia and I went onto my deck and she held the ladder while i dismantled the screen window and climbed in. Fun stuff.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

i'm baaaaaaaaack

Okay...I think I'm done with my blogging hiatus. I don't know if I'm gonna do quotes anymore because that's a lot of typing and I don't have a whole lotta time. I might do a couple of quotes from work because the crazy old people say some pretty weird shit. I'm so sad, the seniors are leaving tomorrow, last year was one thing when they left, I knew like two of them, but this year half of my friends are seniors! Here's the top ten things I hate about my job:

1. Paula -- she's this evil 19 year old who thinks she's a 40 year old lunch lady.
2. Mopping
3. Touching food that has been in other people's mouths
4. Getting mashed potatoes on my eyebrows
5. Mopping
6. The smell of the coolers
7. Diana -- she's a supervisor, basically if Hitler had a kid -- fine, she's not that bad, she just really likes following people around with clipboards
8. Mopping
9. Tapioca pudding
10. Mopping

Friday, April 30, 2004

i'm a liar

Yeah, I guess I lied about the quotes, I really haven't had time to blog lately, so don't look forward to a whole lot of posts from now until at least summer. Bubbye.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

you can't pick your friend's nose

Okay, so I was in the shower (NEVER a good start to a story) and while washing my hair, my aunts famous words of wisdom popped into my head:
You can pick your friends...
You can pick your nose...
But you can't pick your friend's nose!

And no, before anyone asks, I was not picking my nose! I promise I'll do quotes tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

here's my life in two sentences

I have to do quotes soon. I'm gonna go do homework and watch Will & Grace.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

sometimes i amaze myself

This is officially the best palindrome (things spelled the same forward and backward) ever:
Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog!

i wish i wasn't so new baltimore

I put two new links up: Swapping Parts and How New Baltimore Are You? Everyone needs to read Swapping Parts and btw, I'm 87% New Baltimore.

homework and hackers

Okay, do you guys want to know what a dumbass I am? Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway. I left my government book at school and the big stupid worksheet is due on MONDAY, so yeah, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get it done. Oh, and you know how I blamed my brother for breaking my computer? Well it wasn't him, apparently someone has been using my computer as a server (don't even ask me about what I'm typing, cuz I have no idea) and downloading stuff onto my computer so that they could us it on their computer. Creepy, that means that they can use my computer from wherever they are. Anyway, I have to re-install my stupid computer today......damn.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

is it just me, or are windmills really scary?

The Top Ten Things I Hate, in no particular order:

1. Condiments -- ketchup is just wrong

2. A. My feet -- they are like frickin' flippers
B. My pinky toes -- yeah, I don't have toenails on them

3. Windmills -- shut up, they're scary

4. Spiders -- way too many legs

5. Scary Books -- its like a scary movie in your head that you can't shut off

6. Purple -- its such a weird color

7. Football -- sorry, but this is the most uninteresting thing ever

8. Milk -- maybe this is why I'm not growing

9. Acid washed jeans -- so 1980

10. Pickles -- eeww

i must be an insomniac

I seriously don't know what is wrong with me, I haven't gotten to sleep any earlier than 2:00am this whole week, so that's like four hours of sleep tops. I'm studying French, but I decided that I should share my sleeping habits with y'all. Laters.

Monday, April 19, 2004

guess what.................

I'M NOT MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mom just got back from Seattle and her and my dad had a big long talk and decided that everything was too expensive. My dad is on his way home right now. I've gotta go to bed, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep.

gonna kill you mon frere

I'm going to kill Jason, he broke the internet. Yes, I understand that I'm on the internet, but whenever I click on the "e", it does nothing, so I had to get on through RealOne player. Did I mention that I was going to kill Jason yet? Yeah, there's nothing else to say right now, laters.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

fashionably late is never fashionable, just late

Okay, my brother is officially a nerd. We were gonna go see a movie last night at 9:40 and he got to my house at 9:40, needless to say we're gonna go tonight. Anyway, I talked to my mom and dad this morning and my dad was so excited when he saw her. I'm so jealous of my parents right know, they're driving out to the ocean as I type. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, drum roll please, here's the qoutes:
1. Do you have clothes on? -- Lia -- Yes, I always wear clothes!!!

2. I love three way -- me -- three way CALLING!!!!!

3. I'm quite content with my juice......which I'm going to drink like a woman -- Cat -- I don't think you can do it

4. That was like a shimi talk -- Cat -- could you demonstrate that one for the class?

5. I said pothole, not crap pipe -- Cat -- thanks for clearing that one up

6. Sparky has only bitten one person, my mom, and that was because he thought she was steak -- me -- don't I have a pathetic dog?

7. It would be so great if you could baaa in your sheep -- me -- see, I shouldn't be able to talk after midnight

Oh, here's an over share, my dog was following me around all day yesterday FARTING. And I found a really good picture of Michael Jackson, it's in the link column.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

commie bastards

I'm really mad at FOX right now:
Fox shelves Playing It Straight
Variety reports that, as part of a major overhaul of the Fox network's Thursday and Friday lineups, the reality show Playing It Straight will be going on temporary hiatus. The dating show, about a straight woman who must pick a straight suitor out of a group of gay and straight men, has been pulled from the schedule, although Fox does plan on airing the remaining episodes this summer so viewers can find out how the game ends.

you can't contain the fat man within

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged since Monday, so sue me. Um...let's see, here's how my week has gone so far. Study, go to the mall with Lia, study some more, go see The Whole Ten Yards with Lia, study some more, Cat and Lia spent the night, study some more. I think I'm all studied out. Oh, and before I do quotes, Cat came up with a new word:

Pornicate -- the act of administering sexual acts to pornography, such as magazines, videos, and/or websites.

Now you may have quotes:

1. Wow Cat, you do it fast -- Lia -- good to know

2. It popped out and you're not gong to get it back in -- Cat -- yeah, once it has popped out there's no turning back

3. I don't want to be farted on or kicked -- Cat -- sometimes you don't have a choice

4. Orgaz his penis -- Cat -- you say a lot of weird things

5. Get smaller socks -- Lia -- how forceful of you

6. Put your card up you suck-o -- Lia -- is there a clinical definition to suck-o?

7. I guess I'm a mijority -- Cat -- make up your mind

8. Sam did dealt -- me -- Sam doesn't know how to talk very well

9. I think the penis would no longer be erect after its erect -- Cat -- thank you for your assessment Dr. Trombly

10. I think you can contain the fat man with in, you just choose not to -- me -- you would understand if you heard Lia laugh

11. You were thinking of me in the shower? -- me -- I guess I'm just that important to people

12. I have weird friends...Oh, hello glasses -- me -- yep, the weirdness is rubbing off on me

13. I woke up and it wasn't in my mouth, it was in my bed -- me -- it was supposed to be in my mouth

14. There's not enough room for my tongue, it's getting stuck between the plastic -- me -- stupid retainer

15. I'm touching the wall with my body in every possible spot -- Cat -- please don't violate my walls ever again

Monday, April 12, 2004

why am i such a dork?

Wow, I was just reading The Week, which is pretty much a compilation of every news publication in the world and every week they pick a few really good books to highlight and Tom Stanton's new book was in there, his was seriously one of five. I was so excited, he really deserves it, he's an awesome writer, he wrote two Elton John books. So, you know Mrs. (Beth) Stanton the librarian? That's his wife. Sorry, you guys might think I'm a nerd, but get over it, I'm excited.

cosmo is bad

Oh...Cat and I spent the night at Lia's the other day and read the magazine that Cat is not allowed to read (COSMO!!). That was the funniest thing ever. Before I forget, I found the most addicting website called SoundClick. It has a whole bunch of new bands and you can download their music for free. Anyway, Lia and I went to the mall with the intent to look at prom dresses, but she let me slide on that because I'm not going anyway. I did buy Sims, the best game ever. Here's the quotes:

1. I don't wanna see him if he has a big head -- Lia -- are you sure?

2. It was already down when I was coughing -- Cat -- thats...weird

3. I can't get mine up -- Cat -- there's medicine for that

4. That SUV that just walked by -- Cat -- it's time to go back to the padded cell now

5. I wanna reap? -- Cat -- yeah, no more on the crack pipe for you

6. Sex plus you equals me -- Cat -- 'bout NO

7. Catherine doesn't know how to do sexual math -- Cat -- that's for sure

8. Why don't you get it, then you can art yourself -- Lia -- what is wrong with my friends?

9. Did the pure disgust have to hit me in the face? -- Lia -- Yes it did's the billion dollar idea of the week Kinky Crosswords!! Don't even think about stealing my idea.

Friday, April 9, 2004

there is a tampon in my salad

Happy Good Friday! Survivor sucked last night, I really like Lex, and now I can't stand Rob or Cathy. I watched it at Lia's, then we went out to dinner (I know, dinner at 9:00!!) at Applebee's. I love Applebee's. I have to study so much over this stupid break...fine, it's not stupid, I just hate French. No, let me rephrase that, I hate my French teacher, she doesn't even teach us. Anyway, here's the part you've all been waiting for:

1. Sometimes I pretend its a microphone and sing to it -- me -- doesn't everyone?

2. We're having a nose-picking contest and you're going first -- Mrs. Huber -- she sound's kinda weird

3. We're all going to blow our nose the polish way and we'll see who will get the bullseye -- Mrs. Huber -- yeah, she's weird

4. I got stuck on your cheese -- me -- that's saucy

5. I want a baracuda tutor -- me -- hmm......I guess I hit the crack pipe a little hard yesterday morning

6. I'll have to cohort with the cohorts -- me -- isn't it self explanatory?

7. You won't blog me -- Michelle -- YES I WILL

8. I wanted to have a whole Catherine, Lia, Sam, and me fun time -- Liz (Butler) -- I'm sorry, I don't know if that is possible

9. John Zemanhore -- me -- John Leech's new name

10. I'm not gonna lose my hair for a guy! -- Liz -- you tell 'em!

11. I've to to get the circulation in my ass -- Lia -- ummmm......have fun with that

12. Don't worry, you already ate my spit -- Allison -- oh, is that all?

13. There is a tampon in my salad -- Allison -- you should definately tell the cook

14. What are words? -- Nicole -- that is a good question

15. The hair is attacking my chin -- Allison -- I'd be lying if I said I wasn't confused

16. Oh my gosh, I just molested the lunch lady's ass! -- Allison -- yeah, not everyone likes that

17. His friend always sits up my ass -- Allison -- you sure get around, don't you?

Wednesday, April 7, 2004

how often is paul on porter?

Cat, Lia and I went to Target today and I got season 7 of Friends and the case is hot pink, which, if you didn't know, is my favorite color. Oh, and if any of you ever catch Cat with Cosmopolitan magazine, take it away, it turns her into the biggest pervert you will ever meet. Here's a random comment: Why do teachers insist on pulling their pants up so high? and Lia's answer: "They must enjoy wedgies, skankman's skanker pants aren't high rise". I don't have time to say anything else, but here are the quotes:

1. Power outage, let's pray! -- Mrs. Wilk -- Oh, oh, oh.....let me get my rosary

2. Don't go away focus! -- Mrs. Wilk -- what the shit?

3. Hi, I'm an ellipse -- Mrs. Wilk -- yeah, she's weird

4. Let's have a double ellipse -- Mrs. Wilk -- you think that's strange, look what Lia said in response to it

5. That's kinky! -- Lia -- not so much

6. The fizziness hurt me -- me -- once again, I don't know what the hell I was talking about

7. Look, it's little red robin! -- Amanda -- yes, the lesser known pet of little red riding hood

8. I might be a redneck -- Kelley -- might?

9. I don't get my math, it looks like a penis -- Amy -- hun, that's not math

10. I can do it with a 105 pound dummy -- Lia -- what, while he just lays there?

11. The sides are metal, and you were foolin' around with the sheets -- Lia -- yeah, I'm sure you were just foolin' around

12. I had to snap the snap on my butt -- Lia -- there's no excuse for grabbing your own ass

13. I like when Paul is on Porter -- Lia -- I bet Porter likes it too

14. You're eating the fetus! -- some random girl at lunch -- there will be no, and I repeat, no eating of the fetuses (feti?)

15. You said Je -- me -- Je, as in I in french

16. (while pointing at Cat) Je voudrais fromage (I would like cheese) -- Lia -- You would like Cat cheese?

17. Would you like to play with my salami? -- me -- I bet you're wondering if I actually have a salami

Tuesday, April 6, 2004

that's incongruous

I wish my dog could laugh.

Monday, April 5, 2004

oh yeah...sweaty finger

I think it's kinda sad that I feel guilty for not blogging. Anyway, I have a whole bunch of quotes to post, but that's it, cuz I am studying my ass off for the french AP test, so here they are:

1. It looked really cool, despite the fact that it was sex -- Cat -- or was it the fact that it was sex??????????????????????

2. As in you're speared? -- Lia -- the next one is my response

3. Yes........she's kabobbed -- me

4. She had a big sex -- Lia about CAT

5. Medusa shmoosa -- Jessica Van Mourik -- you tell 'em

6. It's a shock that I can't get it up faster -- Lia -- yes, that is a shock, along with the shock that you have something to "get up"

7. I drink like a man -- Lia -- maybe that's why you have a hard time getting it up

8. Sam I ham -- Cat -- yeah okay

9. I think I'm allergic to Greenfield Village -- me -- I swear, it's all the old buildings

10. Oh yeah, sweaty finger -- Kriss -- um................I don't know how to respond to that one

11. It fell out of my apple -- Cat -- you're weird

12. You're supposed to blow from the mouth, but I blew from the butt -- Kriss -- I thought you were supposed to........never mind

13. You blew it from the wrong end -- Amanda -- and how, pray tell, did you do that?

Here's two non words that Cat said today:

Im-ma-date -- def. a redneck word derived from the words him, my and date, for instance: See that guy over there? Immadate.

Kabobanation -- def. the religious sect of barbequed meat

Here's one random thought of mine:

Elton John is a friggin' genius.

Saturday, April 3, 2004

the act's suck baboon ass

Yeah, I know I didn't blog yesterday like I said I would, but I went to bed at 7:00. I don't really have time to blog now either, it's 6:26 am and I have ACTs in about an hour and a half, so what the hell am I doing on the computer!

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

vital information for your everyday life

I don't have all that much to blog about today, but my mom told me today that she's gonna fly out to Seattle to surprise my dad in a few weeks. My mom and her friend out there have it all planned out, my dad is gonna go over there for dinner and my mom is just gonna be there......I wish I could go, just to see the look on his face. I don't even know what to blog about today, nothing really happened that was all that interesting, but I did finish my independent novel today. Here's something I got in an email today:


Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"....and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred
and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result
of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but
the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name

A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the

A. Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with
all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was lunar based, this period was called the honey month...which we know
today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's
and Q's."

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired
by this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

does a girl have...........a mister?

I woke up on time today! Oh sorry, I guess that isn't exciting to other people. Before I forget, anyone who hasn't heard the song Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet needs to, I'm listening to it right now. I'm so happy that I'm reading Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood for my independent novel in Skankman's class, it's different from the movie, but it's really good. I got really freaked out in Government today, Perhaps was being eerily nice to me. Anyway, I'm wide awake right now, I know it's only 8:27, but that's late for, I lead a sad life. I'm gonna go to bed at like 12:30 because Matthew Perry is gonna be on David Letterman. Okay, the weirdest thing popped into my head just now, probably from thinking about Matthew (yes, we're on a first name basis now). Anyway, a guy can have a mistress, but what does a girl have...........a mister? On to the quotes:

1. Chris is my Sam's fug -- me -- yeah, as my mom would say, I hit the crack pipe a little hard

2. I do all kinds -- Cat -- I bet you all would like to know where that came from

3. I didn't know who was rubbing my back -- Cat -- WOAH!!!

4. We wen't fuggin' -- Cat -- definition of fuggin': the act of seeking out fugs

Oh, and here's a phone # I got from Amanda. If a creepy guy tries to get your number, give him this, it's really funny, I called it: 1-248-262-6861

Monday, March 29, 2004

51 things not to say

This weekend was a blast! We were gonna go bowling, but when we got there all of the lanes were taken, so we went to Tim Hortons and hung out for like an hour, but I'm glad we left when we did because we probably would have gotten kicked out if we had stayed any longer. Then we were driving home and whenever we could, we danced at people in the other cars. I don't have a whole lot of time to write, but I'll post the quotes. And by the way, Amy stole the quotes yesterday, so I couldn't post them, but she gave 'em back..........she's so lucky:

1. You should put it under wood -- Cat

2. There's no boobing! -- me

3. Do you want me to pick you up? -- Cat -- to Kelley, I won't even tell you guys what else she said to her

4. It's more fun on top! -- Cat -- seriously?

5. I got burnt by the apple fuzz -- me

6. I don't want people camped out in there -- Lia -- I bet you all want to know where...

7. Bagels? I thought we were talking about waterfalls -- Stephanie

8. How do you say bagel? -- Cat -- learn how to say the damn word already

9. And by the way, she did squirt me! -- Lia -- WOAH!!

10. She got me in the ass -- Lia -- how the hell did she do that?

11. My underwear was wet for 2 hours -- Lia -- just stop talking

12. You guys look guilty -- Cat -- to Stephanie and Michelle after leaving the bathroom at Tim Hortons

13. Okay, that's like violation of the third amendment! -- Cat

14. Fine, you're not sleeping in my house -- Lia -- in response to #13

15. No! I don't wanna wear pants -- Steph -- to my mom

16. No, I'm not wearing pants! -- Steph

17. Is that a conch? -- Lia

18. A shell or Michelle? -- Cat

19. You're just a flabby old woman! -- me

20. Let's fake orgasms -- Lia -- what the shit?

21. You're writing over the flabby old woman, aren't you? -- Lia

22. I did not say fake orgasm! -- Lia -- uh...yeah you did

23. I just said glot -- Cat -- btw, my mom read this and won't stop saying glot

24. I'm gonna sit in my room for a couple of hours and practice taking off my bra -- Lia -- way too much free time

25. Does anyone think it's weird that she's talking about enemas while taking off her bra? -- Kelley -- I do

26. They were dangling mercilessly -- Lia

27. Fah-Q -- Kelley

28. Kati is the reason I spent three days in a meat grinder -- Kelley -- Oh, yeah blame it on her

29. She would be walking down the street constantly having orgasms -- Cat -- I don't even know what to say to this one

30. If I was, I wouldn't have said I was hot, I would've had no pants on -- Cat -- it wasn't that kind of party

31. Ari said 'call me when you get devirginized' because she doesn't think I can do it -- Lia

32. Is that what you were talking about? Humping? Is that theraputic? -- Steph

33. Do you have pants on? -- Lia

34. Yeah, unfortunately -- Steph -- once again, I must emphasize that it wasn't that kind of party

35. It's built up sexual tension -- Cat -- what the shit?

36. And it needs to escape through your face? -- Steph -- finishing off Cat's sentence

37. Someone just spit in my ear -- Lia

38. Did you just say 'dammit I feel naked today'? -- Cat -- selective hearing

39. Is that my background sex music? -- Cat -- I don't even want to know

40. She pushed on it in a weird place and it popped open......that's how it works -- me -- I honestly don't know what I was talking about

41. I couldn't like, grasp it firmly with my right hand -- Lia

42. Oh, my toe is stuck in the hole -- me -- the hole in the blanket

43. It doesn't start out at the beginning -- Steph

44. Chris Paul sex -- Lia -- is that a fantasy of yours?

45. Chris Tampon -- Lia

46. That would be cool if that (Tampon) was his last name -- Amanda

47. It would be funny if that was your middle name, then you'd be Chris Tampon Hed -- Cat -- poor kid

48. We know what Catherine likes -- Lia -- she likes...............................

49. Mustard! -- me

50. SPERM!! -- me -- in a sing song voice

51. You're a feminist, aren't you? -- Lia -- to Cat

Saturday, March 27, 2004

here's my sad excuse for a post

I got this off of Stephanie's Journal:

A is for - Age: 16

B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Not right now

C is for - Career in Future: Architect

D is for - Dead person you would like to meet: Freddie Mercury (hehe), Raymond (my cousin)

E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

F is for - Favorite song at the moment: Sohniye (some weird ass, non-English song)

G is for - Guy/Girls you've kissed: David Green, David Green's brother, John Urbanchuck

H is for - Hometown: New Baltimore

I is for - Instruments you play: Recorder

J is for - Job title: Student

L is for - Living arrangement: Mom, Dad is in Seattle

M is for - Most memorable moment of the day: Lunch

N is for - Number of people you've slept with: None *mischevious grin*

O is for - Overnight hospital stays: One

P is for - Phobia[s]: windmills, water towers, sandbars, spiders, seaweed, the list goes on............and on...............and on.

Q is for - Quote you like: It's from Friends, Phoebe: Yes Chandler, you have homosexual hair.

R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: 3 years (I don't know if it counts though, but I *dated* David Green from first grade until fourth grade)

S is for - Scene from a movie: Ummmm, I don't know, how 'bout Frankie seducing Brad *another mischevious grin*

T is for - Time you wake up everyday: 5:49

U is for - Unique trait(s): breaking into British accents without meaning to

V is for - Vegetable you love: brocoli

W is for - Worst habit: biting my nails

X is for - X-rays you've had: Lungs

Y is for - Yummy food You make: stuffed shells

Z is for - Zodiac sign: Virgo

That was fun, now copy it and fill it out in my comment thing. NOW.

my finely tuned gaydar

I drove all over hell today, I had to go out to Randazzo's to get bread for subs, then I went to Kroger to get other stuff. Then when I got home my mom sent me to home depot. Anyway, I decided to put links to other people's journals on my blog because I had an extra 2 minutes to do nothing. I did the stupid government worksheet yesterday, it took me more than 2 hours. Today is gonna be so much fun, you guys are gonna see just how abysmal my bowling skills are. If anyone is watching Playing It Straight, I though Eddie and Chad were both gay and they were! Oh, and by the way, I think that Bradley is gay too. I can't decide what to read for Skankman's class, Devine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood or Misery. I've gotta get off the computer now, my mom has to do some stupid ebay thing.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

hygiene is always good

I don't know what to write about today, but I finally got my CAD project finished. Oh, and if you didn't know already, my CAD teacher smells like a cross between the deepest, darkest, skankiest depths of hell and an ass. I got so grossed out today when I was staying after in CAD, dubbed Ass Class, the teacher was eating some pizza and she was helping me with something, so she put the pizza on my desk and started typing. I was ready to flip out. I went out driving alone for the first time legally today. I know, you don't have to tell me, I'm the shit. I don't really have anything else to report at the moment, so I must leave you.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

you know that uncomfortable feeling when a stranger is walking around your house unattended?

Happy Birthday Trevor!!! I can't believe Trevor is 11 today, I remember when he was a baby. Anyways, Lia is so awesome, she brought me chocolate because I'm sick. Oh, and by the way, Skankman is a wanker, I heard that we have to do another independent novel, I'm sick of those already and we've only done one! On to other news, we had someone else look at our house today. I don't think the feeling of having someone wander around your house is ever supposed to be natural, it's very unnerving. I don't have any quotes again, but I do have the definative Rocky Horror web site. Have fun!

Monday, March 22, 2004

whoever created parallel parking better be in hell right now

Let me start by saying, Happy Birthday Uncle Price!!! I won't mention any numbers *coughforty-threecough*. So anyway, I feel like crap once again, I've only been awake for like five hours, I should be back to school by Wednesday. GUESS WHAT! Are you stumped? I got my license today, but I can't parallel park for crap. I think I found out what the most uncomfortable thing in the world is, at about 5:30, a realtor came over with a client and showed our house while we were sitting in the living room. I gotta go though, so bubbye for now.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

crouching tiger, hidden drag queen!

Sorry, that's what Carson said on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy yesterday. Wow, I feel like crap today, I think I'm getting bronchitis again. Anyway, last night I realized that I'm really polite to my dog. I was laying on the couch watching TV and I told Sparky to get down so I could stretch my legs out, and when he did get down, I said thank you. It kinda makes me sad. I have a feeling that I'm not going to be in school tomorrow, but I'll be healthy for Saturday! I don't think I have any quotes today, so bye bye for now.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

what the flippin' a?

Sorry, I wasn't in a blogging mood yesterday. May I just say that I love Skankman, though he is still a skanker. I don't know if he did it on purpose or not, but he got Steph and I out of trouble in Physics. Yay! Oh, I'm happy Ethan got voted off of Survivor last night, he's such a whiner. Playing It Straight is on tomorrow, I'm so excited, it's like I get to exercise my gaydar. Hehe. I found out something really funny yesterday. I was staying late in CAD, a.k.a. ass class, and I went into the office to see my mom's friend and she told me that a few of my teachers thought I had something to do with the lock down. Probably because I got called down to the office about 30 seconds after we were released to second hour. Then today in math, Mrs. Wilk made big deal about it, it was pretty funny. Anyway, here's the quotes:

1. Hard on the outside, mushy in the middle -- Cat

2. That chaps my ass! -- Amanda

3. What the flippin' A? -- Lia

4. Where the hell did you pop out? -- Amanda

5. Can you hand me thy thingie? -- me

6. It's aaaaarrrrrrrrh -- Cat

7. It's an angry ring -- me -- Cat had this weird ring on and it pissed me off whenever I saw it

8. Oh oh oh, that's the kid who gave me extra atomic balls! -- me

9. When I'm here, I'm never absent -- me -- self explanatory, isn't it?

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

wisconson: more boring than ever

By the way, I'm pissed at California, I just saw a commercail about *California Cheese*. As if they don't have enough already, why take all of Wisconson's fun?

my balls are going to the left

Yeah, I know, I'm a bad person for not blogging yesterday, but I was at school until 6:00, then I came home and studied my butt off yet again. Oh, and the pictures I was gonna post didn't come out too good because someone is retarded *coughCatherinecough*. So, I've got some catching up to do. Yee-haw! (don't ask, I guess I'm in a rodeo mood) A big nothing happened yesterday, but in Mr. Millers class, we were taking notes and he had a drawing of a wedge and it looked like a upside down guy in pants with a carrot aiming right for the crotch. He kept saying stuff like 'slamming' and other stuff that could be taken as innuendo. I couldn't stop laughing, so I hid behind the computer so I wouldn't get in trouble. Okay, so today Skankman wore the now infamous outfit. I think Cat, Lia, and I have the best luck ever, in Government there were three eligible groups to do thier presentations, and our group wasn't chosen to go! And now, the part you've all been wait for, quotes:

1. Oh, wait, I want to molest a chip -- Lia

2. Out of the weirdest pictures I will ever taste -- Cat

3. I'm going out on a vouch -- Lia -- she meant limb, I personally think she's crazy

4. I was so preferred -- Cat

5. My other ones are small and heavy -- me -- yeah, I don't remember

6. There was an "avec" in there, so it's something with his sausage --Cat

7. Oh damn, I tried to put it in the wrong end -- me -- once again I don't remember, maybe I have a slight case of amnesia

8. Homo-gay sounds fun....e -- me -- we were watching the show "Playing it Straight" and I was pondering the non-word of homo-gay and I meant to say funny, but I said fun instead

9. As opposed to what? Hetero-gay? -- Cat -- her reply to homo-gay

10. I love him...but not like I want to rape him or anything -- me -- I wonder who it is I love?

11. At least you don't sound like a fat man when you laugh -- Cat

12. Yeah, I want you to do me for ten minutes -- Lia

13. I'm doing Lia -- Cat

14. You're all sideways -- Cat

15. I won't touch anywhere near there ever again -- Cat -- I must say that the last few quotes were pretty questionable, Cat

16. Therasic-stick -- Lia

17. That's what Lia get's from summer institution -- Cat

18. Do you know where my fingers are? -- Lia -- may I be the first to say WOAH!!

19. It was a song about a threesome but I kinda like it -- Lia -- Ah-hem, WOAH!!

20. I was Cobb-sessed -- Cat

21. You can fed 'em popsicle style -- Cat

22. I'm gonna be on Porter today -- Lia

23. All my balls are going to the left -- me -- whenever I bowl, the ball veers to the left

24. I did you until 3:21 -- Lia -- Uhhh.....HOMO-GAY!!

25. I was standing there unhooking myself -- me -- I was unhooking my bra under my shirt and felt the need to tell everyone

Now that the quotes are done, you may discuss this topic among yourselves: Sandpaper Penis. Good you're finished. I had the history channel on today (yeah, I know I'm a dork) and apparently there are people who don't believe the Holocaust really happened. That put me in an instant bad mood. Now I've gotta go and eat dinner. Byebye.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

pointless ramblings

I forgot, Cotton Eye Joe is the best song ever.

oh the wonders of being three

I think I studied my ass off last night. I attempted to anyway, my mom's friend came over last night, so I had to watch her 3 year old son. He's really cute, but he's so loud. He wanted to watch Shrek, so I put it on my computer, and then all he wanted to do was dance. Then he peed on my chair. I could have killed him, but he's too cute to be mad at. Oh, and by the way, I had a really good time cleaning it up. I'll put up some quotes later today, I have to find them, they're in my bedroom somewhere.