Friday, January 30, 2004

compulsive lego washing

I got to sleep in today!!!!! I woke up and ate my breakfast at 5:30, then I remembered it was my dad's last day, so my mom let me stay home to help get everything ready to go, so I went back to bed for four hours. I had to get all of the crap my dad didn't need out of the RV and I found a huge box of Legos, so after I was done, I decided to wash them all. Good times. Nothing else has really happened yet, but the day is young.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

don't suck on gel pens

Oh yeah, I forgot that I burned the crap (okay, so I'm exaggerating a little) out of my elbow at lunch while getting fries. Somebody's obviously trying to tell me fries are bad. And then after the extremely entertaining swim meet tonight, my cousin Trevor came over to say goodbye to my dad, who's now leaving on Saturday instead of today (Yay!), and I helped him with his homework, then were were sitting upstairs playing a board game, I know, how Brady Bunch is that. I'm writing something down and then I started sucking on my pen and a whole bunch of blue gel pen ink got into my mouth, so I picked up his coke and started drinking it, he of course had no idea what I was doing and was like "That's my coke, dork!" Well, mine was empty and I needed to get the nasty out of my mouth. Then when he was getting ready to leave, my mom said, "Why's it so cold in here?" and he replied "Because I took your pants." I know, that sounds crazy, but my dad gave him a cool pair of sweats (I know, cool and sweats should never be in the same sentence, but they were.) and he was wearing them over his other pants. What is a fear of seaweed called?

i don't want to stick my hand in Ben's world it might not come back out

What is up with the universe, I had three substitutes today. Of course the stupid math teacher was here and she did a *really* good imitation of a graph in class, sound effects and all. And because I have the best luck in the whole wide world, Skankman was here too, but he was actually wearing a different outfit today, though I expect to see it tomorrow, Monday, and Wednesday. While in Skankman's class, I was talking to Ashley Leining (sp?) and she said "Slow people annoy me." She meant people who walk slow, but it sounded wrong. Oh, and this morning Allison, Catherine, and I (there goes that proper English again) were talking and I said hi to Ben, then Allison said "I don't want to stick my hand in Ben's world it might not come back out" alluding to the fact that Ben was off in his own little world at the moment.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004


Well, we just watched a documentary on spelling bees. Yes, I know, I lead a very sad life. All of the kids who get to the national spelling be are right on the borderline of genius and insanity, this one was making the weirdest noises. In seventh grade, I won the spelling bee for my English class, then I got to the school one and was like the sixth person out, my word was skewer.

is that grass?

This is what my crazy French teacher is making us learn:
Allo Robert? Ici Alain.
Ah, Bonjour. Comment ca va?
Ca va bien. Devine ou je vais!
Je ne sais pas. Ou vas-tu?
Je vais en France avec ma soeur Marie.
Vous y allez tous les deux seuls?
Non, maman et papa y vont aussi.
Ah, quell chance!
N'est-ce pas? Nous allons partir dans quelque jours.
Eh bien. Bon voyage!
Merci et au revoir!
Au revoir!

So, now that we've got that out of the way, the evil English teacher is officially Skankman. He is wearing the same oatmeal shirt and brown corduroy/jean thingies again! Maybe where he comes from, they don't have washing machines. According to my research, he has worn that outfit four times in the last five school days. He wore it Thursday, Friday, Monday, and today, Wednesday and we don't know what he wore on the weekend! He's definitely skanker of the month. We were sitting in Government watching the news and some Mars pictures come onto the screen and Catherine, who by the way is like valedictorian asks me "Is that grass?" I gave her a weird look and replied. "No, you need water to have grass (insert derogatory remark here)." So then a few minutes later, she asks "Why don't they plant trees on other planets?" I'm flabbergasted. Then in Physics I was talking to Stephanie, and somehow we got to the topic of burns. That reminded me of a good story: I was cooking something on a cookie sheet and wearing a tank top (never a good combination) and I went to get it out and accidentally touched the extremely hot metal to my stomach. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, I had a burn that was almost a straight line on my stomach for about a week. Oh and why don't they plant trees on other planets?

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

the big invisible seagulls

Today was really eventful. I'm leaving the French room today, and for some unknown reason, Ms. B hugged me. When I got out of there, Catherine was walking by and saw my face, which I can't really describe, but it was enough to make her laugh. Then I'm in Math and I look outside and it's snowing and the snowflakes are so frickin' big, it looked like a whole bunch of seagulls decided to loose all of their feathers right outside the window. And then of course, the math teacher who seems to have ADD puts her hand out the window to try to catch one. After that, nothing happened for like an hour, so I thought maybe it would turn out to be a normal day. No such luck. I walk to Government and then I decide I have to pee, so I go to the bathroom and when I come out, I see a leg sticking out of the stall next to mine, then a security guard or two come barreling into the bathroom, they are guy security guards mind you. They said she was passed out, but I didn't want to look into the stall to see who it was, cuz that's just weird. And then in Government, Catherine, Allison, and I (see I can use proper English if I want to) are talking, I don't remember what it was about, but Catherine says "I want some men on my pizza!" in a weird attempted Italian accent. Then I'm in Physics and this girl is the biggest airhead, I swear, she asks the stupidest questions I've ever heard! And now Joel thinks I look like a lizard when I yawn, we were talking and I had to yawn and he busted out laughing and called me Samantha Underlizard. What an original name. Oh, oh, I remembered something else...Who came up with the name Pinky for your little finger?

Monday, January 26, 2004

skankman and the lime green beacon

***I'm not putting teachers names in here because I'm paranoid that they'll see it, but you should know who I'm talking about***
Last night, I was compulsively rearranging my bedroom furniture, and my stupid white desk was being really wobbly, so I took my computer and all my other junk off of it and took out my frustration on it. Yeah, I know y'all think I'm crazy, and I bet you doubt my sanity even more because of my use of the word y'all. Did anyone know that a certain evil english teacher is a man-skank? Well he is, he wore the same too-tight, ugly, oatmeal shirt and some weird, brown, corduroy/jean thingies. What a skanker! Skanker is another fun word (non-word?). Speaking of teachers who are incapable to dress themselves properly, the dumb foreign language teacher looked like a lime green beacon in her almost matching pantsuit gettup. So what's with the panty war, last time I checked the word penny didn't have a T in it. Oh, and real quick, every time I see the guy I've dubbed German Boy, I want to show Tina, and Catherine is always the one that's there. Every time it's like "Look, there's German Boy -- Damn your not Tina!"

Sunday, January 25, 2004

kayaking in the dead of winter

I think I broke my shoulder (I don't even know if that's possible) holding up that stupid paneling yesterday. I woke up like seven times last night because it hurt like hell, then I finally stayed awake at 6:43am, which is about six hours earlier than I planned to wake up. Then I had to move all of my bedroom furniture away from my wall so my dad could put up the evil panels up. Okay, the TV is on and there was a commercial for kayaks, and now I really want to go kayaking, too bad I don't have a kayak and the lake is frozen. Now I have to go move all of my furniture back.

Saturday, January 24, 2004

did you ever have that teacher that hadn't met a bottle of shampoo?

Hell must smell like my CAD teacher.

dinner with santa

Today was interesting. I got up and went to the rec center to keep score for floor hockey and I had to tell my cousin that I was moving. Not good times, but like a good Italian, I brought him food to smooth it over. Then I went to Lowes with my dad to help him bring home some paneling that was slightly too large for our truck. I ended up having to lay across the front seat with my head on his arm rest, holding it up with my right arm so he could drive without it smushing his head. I think I pulled a muscle. As soon as we got home, we had to go out to dinner with my dad's friend Joel, who bears an extremely strong resemblance to Santa Clause (oddly enough, he's a mall Santa in the winter). We were there for like four hours, and then on the way home we were talking about rodeos, which lead to a discussion about bull fighting, then we got to cow tipping, and last but definitely not least, we discussed Guinness Ale.

Friday, January 23, 2004

the infamous man capris

Something else came up last night at the swim meet, man capri pants. Hmm. It takes a certain type of guy to be able to pull off that look. I've only seen them twice and neither time was in real life, once on TV and one of the guys in Bend It Like Beckham had them. Maybe Brad Pitt could pull it off, nice legs and right skin tone, not to mention his hair is the right length. Or Sean Connnery? Perhaps even, dare I say Matthew Perry?

force fed fluorescent green gum...try saying that 5 times fast

We went to the swim meet yesterday, but there was no one there that was hot enough to be considered a hottie. There was this crazy eight year old there, who attempted to force feed us all fluorescent green gum. She reminded me of Pearl from The Scarlet Letter. So then today, I'm in third hour and I get called down to the office and my mom is there, and she wanted to talk to me outside the office. I immediately thought worst case scenario, that my old lady neighbor died, but she didn't. She needed me to come home so I could go up north and help her and my dad dig out our RV from the snow so my dad could take it with him when he leaves on Thursday. I was so bundled up, I looked like a black marshmallow, I had 3 shirts and 3 pairs of pants and snow pants on. Bubbye for now.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

and the verdict is...

Cheese should never have to be peeled.

why does anyone like bush?

I thought of this while I was doing the dishes: Today in government, we had the unfortunate luck of having to watch the State of The Union Address, one of the most boring things ever! Why is it that everytime the President something, no matter the importance, the whole audience clapped their asses off?

my debut

I love the word flabbergasted, it's really fun to use in a sentence, for example: A man ran down the street naked and I was flabbergasted!
So yeah, last weekend I found out that we're moving to New Mexico in June, (I was flabbergasted) I guess it's kinda cool, but I don't want to leave all my friends behind, who I've gone to Anchor Bay with since Kindergarten. It's gonna be weird, I live in Michigan, which is freezing and New Mexico isn't. Oh and by the way, I have to start senior year at a new school. On to other news, I'm going to the boys swim meet tonight with Catherine and hopefully we'll see some hotties.