58 things not to say

Here's the quotes from the last few days, just as a warning, most of us were in a perverted mood last night. Oh, I just remembered that Cat is afraid of coffee grinders:

1. I have a kinky head. -- Cat

2. I'm horn happy -- Lia

3. Kissing on the playground...that's how kids learn -- Perhaps it was Allison Drompp

4. I have a transvestite on my backpack -- me -- Ooh the possibilities

5. You need to stop stroking and suck! -- me, to Cat -- We were making subs and putting them in sub bags and you have to suck the air out

6. You're so lucky I swallowed -- Amy

7. Give me the fuzzy really fast -- Cat

8. Do you dance crunchy? -- me -- I was trying to describe the way Cat was trying to imitate me dancing

9. And then there was a doorknob -- Cat

10. I can't pass it, I'm over here -- me -- I don't know what I was talking about

11. It was like.......(in a gremlin voice) HAHAHA -- Amy

12. My daddy bought me a ball of rabbit fur -- Cat

13. He was on the roof in his underwear -- Cat (BTW - the next quote immediately followed this one)

14. I did that once! -- me -- I was kidding, I just couldn't pass that one up

15. I was wearing underwear but not solely underwear -- me -- trying to explain that last time I was on my roof I was wearing underwear but I was wearing clothing over them

16. He's very homosexual, he even pees like a girl -- me -- I was talking about my dog

17. I did not, I did not lick my dog! -- me -- I didn't lick my dog

18. Look at that sexy girl in the window! -- Cat -- This one I will clarify because it make Cat sound kinda gay. Amy was trying to seduce my window and Cat was saying what Amy was thinking

19. I'm not done counting yet, do it as hard as you can! -- Cat

20. I just saw the shadow of the fan -- me -- I saw the shadow of the fan and I thought it was my mom

21. She chose shower over Sam! -- me -- I don't know what the hell I was talking about

22. I turn around and there's this tree walking towards me -- Cat

23. See we don't have a Bob, we have a Dennis -- me -- We were talking about having family members with the last name Walsh and my cousin's name is Dennis and Cat's relative's name is Bob

24. Sam, it's a little crooked -- Cat

25. You're holding that sandwich a little suggestively -- Amy

26. Get me twisty! -- me -- I was yelling at Cat to get me a twist tie

27. Okay, now who wants to take their crap off? -- me -- asking people to take their stuff off that table

28. I'll sleep with Amy -- Lia -- The next quote immediately followed this one

29. No, that's my job -- Cat

30. Kelley, get you're thing over here -- Cat

31. No, one's tighter -- me -- I was describing that one of the cots was stiffer than the other

32. I don't know which way I'm supposed to do it -- me -- I was having technical difficulties with an Aero bed

33. Quit being kinky! -- Lia

34. I can't push it in -- me -- there was this thing on the Aero bed and I couldn't close the cap

**********Johnny Depp just said "Horse of a different color"**********

35. The big gaping hole -- me -- I don't remember

36. That reminds me of Paul -- Lia

37. I'll go out there in my underwear -- Cat

38. I'll sleep with you Michelle -- Lia -- the next one immediately followed this one

39. No, that's my job! I get them both! -- Cat -- WTF!!

40. Fuck is an anagram -- me -- Self explanatory isn't it? Fornication Under Consent of the King. People in old England had to get permission to have sex

41. You're my CO-PAIN -- me -- We were talking about French class and copain means friend

42. MR. WARREN -- Cat -- we were watching Rocky Horror and Riff Raff closely resembles Mr. Warren

43. It's crumpled in the corner -- me -- I don't remember

44. OH! M&M'S! I GOTTA PEE -- me -- I was imitating Michelle I think

45. You look like you're walking on the moon -- me -- Cat was walking on the Aero bed and she looked like she was walking on the moon

46. Lia crawled under the chair with me and asked if she could fornicate with me -- Cat -- I don't even want to know

47. I enjoy having color on my hands -- me -- we were discussing the fact that M&M's lie, they do melt in you're hands

48. Which way do you want me? -- Cat -- Ya know what, I don't remember, but I don't want to know what was going on

49. Lia, do you want 3 men in your tub -- Cat

50. You got a little happy with the up arrow -- Cat

51. Sam, watch Mama -- my mom -- I don't even remember

52. I was a transvestite in another life -- Cat

53. Last time I checked, I wasn't a guy -- Lia -- the next quote immediately follows this one

54. Well, you better check, those things crawl up on ya fast -- Cat

55. We have Janet, Magenta, and Columbia filled up! -- Cat

56. Manties -- Lia -- the new word for man panties

57. I keep getting my face caught on the zipper -- me -- Okay, okay, I admit that sounds really questionable but I had to take my hoodie off because the zipper was hurting me

58. Catherine, I have to practice something on you -- Lia

Now no one can yell at me for not having enough quotes.

wow, i was a whore

Do you guys want to know how pathetic I am? Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway, I actual feel guilty for not blogging. I had the boringest (so sue me, it's not actually a word) day EVER!!! I had to go to Santa's (my dad's friend Joel who looks like Santa) house because my mom had to help his wife do something stupid on Ebay. We were there for five hours, I understand that my mom wanted to do a good deed, but she didn't have to bring me down with her. Santa would not stop talking to me, and finally I fell asleep on a chair, I don't think he noticed. Anyway, yesterday was so much fun, Cat, Lia, Amy, Kelley, and Michelle spent the night. We made subs, then we watched Rocky Horror (of course!) and then we watched Van Wilder, which is really peverted. Then we decided to go to bed but we ended up talking for like two hours. Then this morning Amy, Kelley, and Michelle had to leave early, but Cat and Lia stayed so we watched Cruel Intentions. Good times, good times. Oh, and by the way, I was such a little whore in elementary school, I had like a few boyfriends, but I didn't kiss them, I did however kiss my boyfriends brother once. That was just one of the topics that came up last night.

the spandex onesie was a little much

Not that anyone knows who Freddie Mercury is (the lead singer of the band Queen), but my mom called him (who she loves) the funniest thing I've ever heard: Little spandex-onesie-wearin-muthaf***er. Here's a picture of him, by the way, I'm gonna have to get one of those. Hehe.

i guess i just scare easy

I have another phobia to add to my ever growing list: Plungers. I'm not necessarily afraid of them, I just don't like being near them.

sandeep dikshit is the most unfortunate name

My mom was just reading a magazine and she called me over to show me someones name, I think it is the funniest thing I've ever seen. Sandeep Dikshit. It made me laugh out loud.

i create a warm, fuzzy feeling when I enter a room

First of all, sorry, no quotes for today. Skankman was wearing the skank pants again today. I have some interesting topics to discuss, just random things that I've thought of:

1. Has anyone seen the Quiznos subs commercial with the rat/hampster thing singing? It's so stupid, but I makes me laugh every time I see it.

2. I think the only good macaroni and cheese is the stuff from Kraft, the other stuff is to cheesey (sp?).

3. I have a real problem with how the English language spells things, who the hell thought of these things?
Ph should never sound like F.
As far as the word right, what does the GH do for the word?
What about TION, doesn't SHUN have the same effect, without the pain in the ass?
Don't even get me started on silent letters.

4. I had the worst iFluRtz thing ever. It said I was a Pisces, but I'm a Virgo, it also said that I create a warm, fuzzy feeling when I enter a room.

And stephanie wanted me to mention that Mr. Miller tried to light (there goes that stupid GH again) a fire cracker, but it was a dud. I gotta go for now, but I'll leave you with a nice image, I just saw my cat licking the remains of my mom's popsicle off of the stick while she was holding it.

everything is fake, including boobs

Sorry about yesterday's stupid post, here's yesterday's quotes, by the way, a lot are from the math teacher who I won't name because I'm a wimp:
1. After going to Universal (studios) I realized that nothing is real anymore, everything is fake, including boobs -- math teacher

2. C'est va! -- math teacher -- sometimes she'll speak french at us to impress us, like she'll say 'Ecoute!' which means listen, anyway I don't know what her problem is, maybe she was trying to sound like she knew what she was talking about, but c'est va! means it is go! what a dork.

3. On some of these problems, there's more than one way to skin a cat -- math teacher

4. It's a horse of different color -- math teacher

5. The tangent of an elephant -- math teacher

6. Vicey versey -- math teacher

7. Mojo? Where's my mojo? -- me

if i can break in, then a robber sure can

I hafta post really quick 'cause I have to babysit in like five minutes, but I have to share something with everyone. My mom and I just got locked out of our house, she accidentally grabbed the wrong keys before leaving. Anyway, we had to break in to our own house, I had to climb in through a window that was about six feet from the ground. Good times. I'll probably post when I get home, so bubbye for now.

save the cows

Today started off bad, I woke up at 7:00, but at least I didn't have any weird dreams. Not all that much happened today, but I'm happy to report that skankman wore the outfit again today. My mom is such a dork, she put a can of Pounce cat treats in my backpack. I don't know if Chris reads this, but if he does, maybe he should look in his backpack - hehe. I was feeling mean, so I had lia put the cat treats in his backpack. There's definately a few good quotes today, so here they are:

1. We're not watching your pack -- Amanda

2. I can't give it to her -- Cat

3. PINEAPPLE!!!!! -- Cat

4. It hurts my back, hunching over and doing it -- me -- I would explain this one, but I'd rather have you see if you can figure out what I was doing.

5. Save the cows -- Lia

6. I'm in a sack -- me -- I don't know what the hell I was saying.

7. You were willing, it's not like rape -- Lia -- not talking about sex.

8. She wants to put me out -- Cat

9. I'm a saver -- Cat

10. It looks word -- me -- I think, I think I was trying to say It looks weird.

YUCK!! I just went outside to put something in the trash and the ground is so wet, it squelched under my shoes. I thought I'd leave you all with a nice thought. Bubbye.

why can't i just dream about flying?

Oh, I just remembered, I HAD THE WEIRDEST FRICKIN' DREAM LAST NIGHT! It's one of those that makes you doubt your sanity. Here, let me set the scene: The United States Government found out that Mars was a habitable environment, with breathable air, about twenty-five years ago. As if that isn't weird enough, I'll give you some more. For the past 25 years, the FBI and similar organizations throughout the world had been sending the people in the witness protection program to Mars as a way to both colonize the planet and keep the people safe. It kinda makes me wonder what I was smoking last night before I went to bed. So anyways, there was this big scandal and people began to find out about it, so the gov. confirmed it and decided to pick 50 families to go and live there. Mine was one of them. So then we got there and I had to go to a Martian boarding school. Then I woke up. It was like watching a movie in my head.

if you say synopsii one more time.....

Here's a question: What's the plural of synopsis? Synopsises, synopsisses, synopsii, or synopsi. Here's one quote:
If you say synopsii one more time, I'm gonna knock you down! -- my mom

i wish there was a point to ping pong

I went to my aunts house and played ping pong for like an hour today, I don't know why but ping pong is really fun. I really have to start working on my essay for skankman's class. RIGHT NOW!

i hate teeth

I hate going to the dentist!

corn dogs make my day

Sorry to all my faithful readers (yeah...right), I didn't have time to blog yesterday. School was pretty boring, it didn't realize how quiet it was without Cat there. Perhaps wasn't there either though, so it was a good day. My physics teacher is a wanker right now, as I said before, he marked me down on my straw egg drop thing and I'm still not over it. After school, I went to the mall with Amy, Kelley, and Michelle. I didn't realize how fun the mall was, we went to Hot Topic. As of yesterday, I was a Hot Topic virgin. We stayed in there for about an hour, they have some really cool shirts and stuff in there. I was gonna get this one Sex Pistols shirt, it had a British flag on it, but I didn't 'cause there was only one left and it was a 2X. Amy found me this Frank'N'Furter button, then I started looking through the buttons and as soon as I looked this other one, I immediately thought of Cat, so I bought it. Then, Amy was looking through the shirts and she found the coolest frickin' shirt ever. It was Frank'N'Furter's face in black and white! I had to buy it, it is so unbelievably awesome! Then, I saw this patch of Pink Floyd 'Dark Side of The Moon', and I couldn't resist, I had to get it for my mom, she talks about that album all the time, she was so happy when I gave it to her. I had to get out of there, I was spending a little too much money, so then we went to Walden Books. BTW it shouldn't be called Walden, it gives me bad dreams. I found an awesome book on Frank Lloyd Wright, who is this awesome architect, on the bargain rack. As if my day couldn't have gotten any better, we went to the food court and I had A&W and they had CORN DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Corn dogs are so great! Then we started talking and for some reason, Amy brought up the time in second grade when we went to the zoo, and my dad was a chaperone. It was me, Amy, Jacqueline (Gerow), and this other girl. As soon as she mentioned the zoo, we both cracked up, we thought of the exact same thing at the same time. My dad had bought us all these big lolli pops with sticks that were about a foot long, and we all started breaking the candy off and playing with the sticks. We were weird kids. After that, we went to Bath and Body works and smelled everything! It was really good, we left smelling like a fruit salad. After that, we went back to my house, and they spent the night. Our moms talked on the phone for like half an hour and turns out, they grew up like two streets away. Anyway, we started watching Dogma, but we all fell asleep before it ended, so we finished it this morning, along with watching Bend It Like Beckham. YAY!! I love that movie. I didn't do all that much today, but I had to make dinner again. I make some bitchin' fried chicken. Oh no, I gotta go, survivor is starting!

sex in school restrooms = unhygienic

Before I even start, CATHERINE HAS OFFICIALLY EARNED THE TITLE OF DUMBASS. We were gonna go to the swim meet tonight at 5:30, so I could get a good lane to time, and she was going to drive. 5:30 rolls around, then 5:40, then finally 5:50, so my mom drives me up there. I'm expecting her to be up there, maybe she had forgotten to pick me up, no such luck. Then I realize there are no lanes left, so I'm completely useless. So I'm standing around, talking to people for an hour, then it's 7:00 and the meet is practically over. Guess who decides to grace us with her presence, you guessed it, Catherine. It was pretty funny actually, she was practically yelling at herself, I was merely a spectator. Now that that's out of the way, not much happened first and second hour, but then in Skankman's class, I realized he was wearing the skank-pants AGAIN, he wore the whole outfit yesterday. Fourth hour was especially boring today, but now I want to be in the CIA. Lunch was special, there weren't many quotes to speak of, but Cat, Lia and I were standing in the commons, close to our lockers and I said something like "I just saw a guy running out of the girls bathroom!" then I saw a few security guards around, but I thought nothing of it. It turns out that there was a guy and a girl fornicating (sex for all of you lucky enough not to be in Skankman's class) in there, with another guy taping it. Good times. I guess sometimes you just gotta have sex in the unsanitary school bathrooms, they must of used the handicap stall. Not much else happened today, but there are two very important words I must share with all of you, wanker and flog, now onto the quotes:

1. Sam! -- me -- Michelle yelled my name, then Steph looked back, so I yelled it to her, don't ask why.

2. He's obsessed with staring at you while he's going to the bathroom. -- Cat

3. He did sex in the court. -- me -- We were discussing the Scarlet Letter test, and the word fornication and someone said that they put "Giles did fornication in the court" so I translated it into layman's terms.

4. He doesn't want you pasting things he said to me. -- Cat

5. You're a stupid head. -- me -- Cat said something stupid, so I called her on it with a no fail comeback.

Laters! (Sorry, I couldn't resist. If you haven't seen Bend It Like Beckham, disregard the last comment and replace it with bubbye.)

exorbitant is my new favorite word

We harvested an exorbitant amount of quotes today, but first I'll share the highlights of my day. The French teacher wasn't there today, what a way to start the day! It went downhill from there, in Math, I got my test grade from last week, and lets just say it wasn't pretty, but to top it off, after the teacher saw my face, she said "Yeah, you made some pretty stupid mistakes." Ouch, way to burst my bubble. Skankman was wearing the skank outfit AGAIN, what's the tally now, like 2O times in 6 weeks? Government was boring as ever, lunch on the other hand, was a different story, but more on that later. In CAD, Mrs. Stinky-Ass wasn't there so we played computer games all hour. Physics was all right, my egg drop contraption got me an A, the teacher marked me down because I used duct tape instead of masking tape. I didn't know there was a difference. Now onto the quotes, once again I reserve the right to explain mine.

1. Did their tongues touch? -- Cat

2. I had to rip a part of my bag off and it looked like a pair of underwear. -- me -- Isn't it self explanatory?

3. I had to rip part of my thing off. -- me -- I was trying to say the above sentence, and I couldn't remember the word bag.

4. Your tongue vibrates. -- Lia

5. Quasi Modo (sp?) would be proud of this hump. -- Nicole

6. You're not feeling the chunky? -- Amanda

7. Would you stop poking the cheese? -- me -- Catherine was poking Lia's cheese.

8. Look it's the herpes dolphin. -- Krista

9. What's herpes? -- Nicole

10. Herpes is food that you put on salad. -- Krista

11. She's getting her legs fixed. -- me -- Explaining why my old lady neighbor is at Presbyterian Village.

12. It smells like dirty socks in Mrs. Christopher's room. -- Amanda

13. This is a work of art. -- Lia -- Describing her sandwich.

14. No, this is a work of art, that is a sandwich. -- me -- Telling Lia that my sandwich, which by the way was rolled up, was better than hers.

15. I'm so sick of straws. -- Amanda

Lunch was very interesting today. Bubbye.

medusa is an understatement

Now I'm awake and I can blog. Friday was okay, we didn't do all that much in class though. I got some kisses though!! Then Cat, Lia and I did about half of our government homework online, but then i was so tired so I called it quits. Then I had to get up early to babysit, then they cancelled so I went back to sleep but I for got to set my alarm and I woke up about a quarter of the way through little boys hockey so I put on a pair of jeans with my pajamas and left, I didn't even brush my hair. I looked like frickin' medusa. I had to get there though 'cause I had to be there when Trevor was done so he wouldn't have to wait for his mom alone. Then I put together our pantry, which was oddly entertaining. Then I had to make dinner, we had spaghetti. Good times. Then I got back online with Lia and Cat and we pretty much finished our government worksheet. When we were done, I talked to Kelley on AIM and we had one heck of a good time. We were doing a crossover of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and the show Degrassi, it was really funny! I only have one quote for today:

1. You guys are guests in my corn! -- Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams

I didn't like last Thursday's survivor.

ik ben vermoeid

I can't blog tonight, i'm too damn tired, but here are some quotes to hold y'all over:

1. I could be a gay guy tour guide -- some girl sitting next to me in the library

2. They don't have dressum -- a lady on a documentary in government

Wow, 2 quotes, that sucks. I promise I'll blog tomorrow.

why must i be pelted with milk?

Today was interesting to say the least, first we had a math test, and if I did it right, it was really easy, but I don't know if I knew what the teacher was asking, it was all very vague. I'm ready to kill this keyboard, we got another one today, but it makes me type slow, it's like a workout having to push down these insanely heavy keys. Skankman wasn't here today, as Catherine said, he's probably doing his laundry. Oh my God, my mom just force-fed me a fried chicken gizzard, now I want to die. It's like biting into dehydrated boiled egg or an old leather shoe or a bouncy ball or a bean bag chair. I wonder what the function of a gizzard is. Anyway, lunch was fun today too, but not nearly as fun as after lunch. Catherine, Lia, and I were standing at Catherine's locker and all of the sudden it feels like someone threw a baseball at my arm. Well, it wasn't a baseball, it was a frozen carton of chocolate milk, it hurt like heck. I'll tell y'all what I said when we get to the random quote part of the blog. You should have seen Catherine and Lia's faces, they were laughing so hard that they were crying! Then when I got home, we had to take my cat to the vet and he hid in my coat until we got into the little room that smells like disinfectant. I looked like a really fat person that had all their fat on one side of their body and a tail sticking out of my stomach. I know, what a good image. And now for the quotes.

1. The only reason it popped out is because it popped out before -- Catherine

2. Porno-ey -- me -- we were discussing reading fanfiction and starting to read a NC-17 by accident, so it's porno-ey.

3. Porno-ey sounds like pork and weed -- Kriss

4. It was a chunky! -- me -- I was wiping something off the table someone looked at me weird for it.

5. WHAT THE F***? -- me -- after being pelted with chocolate milk

6. I see it! -- Nicole

You know what I've noticed? When I'm talking (or blogging) I tend to go off on tangents, like today in Skankman's class, we were discussing our one act play then we got to sweedish fish and Y2K candy. I think my work is done here. For all of you who don't know who Rupert is, I have provided a link.

are you paraspadias?

First, my mom's stupid keyboard broke about twenty minutes ago and Steph was im-ing me and I didn't reply, so I felt kinda bad, but it wouldn't let me type, so I had to go upstairs and get mine. Anyway, today was a good day for random comments, just like before, I reserve the right to explain mine and leave the others to your imagination:

1. Swoon Affadavit -- Catherine

2. People don't use oatmeal anymore -- Catherine

3. Don't drop a naked egg -- Mr. Miller

4. I can't do pencils -- Me -- I was explaining how I cannot use pencils, only pens

5. You have nugget sauce on your face -- Me -- Chris was sitting at the table with some sort of sauce on his face and nugget seemed to be the optimal word.

6. Chris are you paraspadias? -- Lia -- Btw, paraspadias is a strange, probably painful disease.

This one is Catherine's favorite:
7. Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis -- Me -- Someone said they didn't like the word penis, so I couldn't resist.

Here's two that I found in one of my notebooks:
8. I don't want pork in barrels -- Catherine

9. Think before you scribble -- Lia

And I'm spent! Oh, and I hate Bill Nye The Science Guy, but we had to watch it today and it had people falling, it was so great! Now I have to put some people on my buddy list, as of now, Steph is the only one on it.