WTF

What the hell is up with the universe? Okay, so its not that big of a deal, but I wanna know why I got verbally bitch-slapped today in English class! I didn't do anything or "talk shit" about Lindsay Lane and somehow I'm being accused of calling her a slut and telling people that I hate her...I'm so confused. But on with other news...

Here's a game I like to call "What Is Woody Doing?"

(a) Sniffing my mom's slipper.
(b) Playing hide the catnip.
(c) Throwing up in my mom's slipper....................
..........And the answer is (c) Throwing up in my mom's slipper.
He's such a little freak...my mom was taking a picture of him because she thought he was being cute...little did she know that he was doing that.Oh, and I finally found out what "Oy Vey" means...its yiddish for "Oh my." Woot. One last thing...the boys swim team is rubbing off on us...we're so much more touchy feely now...its...odd.

May I be the first to say what the crap? Why can we not have weather like this when we have to go to school? I was out driving today at like 9:30 and damn...I really hope you guys didn't go to that swim meet today, it's pretty damn dangerous out there. Holy shit. Oh, and I have to go in to work today because a bazillion people called in, I have to go in at like 3:00 to help cook, how much does that suck? Happy birthday tomorrow Nicole! And I'm happy that laser tag was fun last night, I really wish I could have been there.Oh, and Cat? I got next Friday off, so Michael Phelps, here we come...I mean U of M, here we come...who am I kidding? I heart Michael Phelps!

Gonna chop my car up into little pieces

Okay, so I'm getting ready this morning, and I walk out to my car to get it warmed up...well, that didn't go entirely as planned, my car had turned into a giant, SUV shaped icicle. When I say icicle, I mean its a frozen mother fucker, the keys wouldn't even turn in the locks. So yeah, my dad was already gone to work and my mom's car was blocked in by mine, so I had to stay home and do some cleaning. My car finally thawed out around 10:30, but by then, I had missed the one class that I needed to go to today, so I continued to clean. Argh...

someone up there doesn't like me much

Argh...yes, I am aware that I haven't posted since last year, but no one reads this anyways, its a bore...Perchè è la gente stupido?

Hmmph...

Um...there's absolutely nothing to blog about right now. I did have some oatmeal though, and that's always an event. I've been confined to the house all weekend, only allowed to leave for work. Trust me, its boring. Oh, I am so unimpressed with our dear president, Señor Bush. He's spending $40 million on his inaugural party. WTF? Is it necessary to spend $40 million on a party when people affected by this gigantic tsunami could use a little help? Granted it didn't happen in the U.S., but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't help. Have some compassion George.

Cat's New Word

MULESTATION!! WOOT...she was trying to type "molestation" which is...scary, but woot! hmm...definition: (1) Carnal knowledge of a donkey (2) mule-station: a toilet

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, ready to jump infront of a bus...I just got my SAT score back *sob* and now I want to go die in a hole. Bubbye.

The best day ever!

Woot! Misohappy! Okay, so last night, Lia, Nicole and I played Texas Hold 'Em and LCR with Jaime...I lost...a lot. I folded like a cheap whore! Then this morning, my mom and I went out to Pontiac to get my car stereo installed...and I got the new Lenny Kravitz CD...Oh, by the way Lia, I'll be sure to let you listen to it, I know how much you love Lenny. And then I went online because I have some Christmas money that was burning a hole in my pocket and I ordered the R. Kelly CD, Bowling For Soup, Switchfoot, and John Mayer's new CD (he's my lover, by the way). Now I get to go to work and train one of the biggest fucktards that I have ever met. But all is well in the land of Sexy Sam. See y'all later. Oh, really quick: I was walking around ABC Warehouse, waiting for my CD player to be installed and guess what show was on all of the TVs...PHIL OF THE FUTURE...Lia would have...well, lets just say she would have been really happy.

5 more months

Heck Yeah! Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I've been waiting for 2005 for such a long time. Say it with me...we graduate in 5 months! Okay, I must get off of the computer...wait...how many days is it until we graduate? 147~ish days........HELL YEAH!

"SPEAKING OF BOMBS!!"

Oh, how badly we want to put that into our newscast...too bad it has to be school appropriate, the bloopers will be kick ass though. It would almost be worth it for us to put "speaking of bombs" into the newscast...we could always play dumb..."I didn't know that was in there, honestly (insert scapegoat here) edited our film!" I think Cat would murder us and chop us up and bury us in the tunnel underneath the pool. I'm so excited, I don't have to work today! This is the first day since Christmas eve that I haven't had to work. But I do get to ruin the day by going to the doctor and cleaning my room. Oh, and by the way, my mom is forbidding me to go anywhere after work on New Years Day, she says I'm going to need my rest after working for 14 hours...which I slightly agree with...If we're doing something, I'll sneak over to Lia's for a little while and just tell my mom that we got off of work late...I think some LCR would be appropriate. Okay, I'm gonna go do some serious organizing. Salut! Oh, and I think LCR is queer beans<-- I just think it sounds funny...is queer beans bad? (Yeah Nicole!)

Don't Let Lia ZAP You

Lia is a super nerd. I let her Zap me today...ooh that sounds somewhat saucy. Remember when we were in like 4th grade and you would let someone right ZAP and a time on your hand and then right someone's name (preferably a boy's name) on your palm, and then you had to wait until said time to look at your palm otherwise you have to ask that person out? Yeah, well Lia is a nerd. This is who she Zapped me with:

The wild and untamed thing:
Paula, the 40 year old lunchperson of an unspecifified gender.

WOAH!!
Okay, now that that's over, I'm so excited! First, I'm not working a double on New Years Day, so my mom is letting me go to Lia's thing and then on Sunday morning, I'm getting my car stereo installed...I'm getting a f***ing Kenwood...I'm stoked! Yes, I realize that I just said stoked. Now I must go to Kroger to get my daddy a dessert.

Christmas time is here by golly...

...Deck the halls with hunks of holly! Salut all. I hope all your Christmases are going well. Mine went okay, but it was yesterday, cuz I'm just awesome like that. I got a new messenger bag...they are a borderline obsession now...I have like 4! And I got a gynormous bottle of my favorite perfume. Everything else was okay, those were just my favorites. Is it sad that I'm actually looking forward to working today? Because I am...I get to get dressed up around lunchtime and waitress for the main dining hall. Heck Yeah!! Now I must clean my bedroom. Bubbye.

Praying for snow didn't work out so well, huh?

Yeah...I'm not allowed to drive until my mom says so, that's how bad the f***ing snow is. Oh, and I'm not going to practice...mommy said no. Come on mom! It's only one mile! But yeah, I understand why, there's like a foot of snow out there and 4 wheel drive only goes so far. I really hope it gets better outside! My mom won't let me do anything, including doing our taping! I wish she wasn't being such a bitch about it, but she says its because she doesn't want me to get killed. Damn protective mothers. WTFF...Je n'aime pas la neige! Why can't we all live in a state that is a little less snow...remind me again why I decided to go to college here. Oy vey. More posts from the blizzard later.

Life Lessons From Lia

Lia just "taught" me how "hawk a loogie" (<-- that was spelled completely wrong)...and she did it over the phone.

The broken penis incident

Okay, I hope that got your attention...I broke some guys penis on Wednesday! I was putting my messenger bag on my shoulder and this guy, who by the way is a dickhead, gets in my way a little and I accidentally slammed my books into his penis...He bent over and made the "oofffffffff" noise. I felt bad, but not bad enough to make it feel better. Okay, that was rather saucy...but what can I say? I heart sauciness. Yes, I know that I haven't blogged in forever and a day, but I haven't had any time to myself for the last month. Woah, I just saw the most sensual commercial in the world...and it was for chocolate. Oh, and I hate the word "sensual" with a passion, but it applied. HECK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to work a waitress shift on Christmas! That means $100 for 8 hours of work! Okay, I'll talk to y'alls later.

FUCK

Ya know what? I tend to have the worst timing when I get sick...Yes, you heard it from me, I'm fucking sick again, this time its a full out upper respiratory infection. That means no school...although I might come in on Tuesday because of our project. Do not kill me, I swear I don't plan these illnesses. But yeah, I won't be in school tomorrow for sure, so if anyone in my History group is reading, email me with anything that you need done for the newscast and I'll do it and just email it to Cat or Lia. Fucking Fuck.

no more projectile vomiting

Okay, am I not allowed to have good news anymore? Gee whiz. My big, fat dog got put to sleep today...I'm so sad...he was like my retarded little brother that couldn't talk, but he could lick himself and try to fornicate with blankets. But in other news, the people who work at the pool are the most annoying people I have ever met. Oh yeah! The projectile vomiting is completely over. Yay!

praying to the porcelain God

Okay...what the hell did I do to piss God off? Because I have the flu with a vengence. I can't even drink water without throwing it up...yes, I know, nice image. My mom is making me carry around a can of Lysol with me so I don't infect her and my dad. Y-U-C-K! Somehow I don't think that I'll be seeing you guys in school on Monday.

way to sleep the day away

Wow, I just woke up from what I meant to be a nice little nap...I most definitely slept through lunch and dinner. Okay...I know that I promised myself that I wouldn't go on the after Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza, but I just couldn't help myself. I drove up to Target and found a whole bunch of gift bags for a dollar each...it made my day. And they're so pretty! Oh, and before the excruciatingly long nap, I did watch a little Phil of the Future...and Ricky Ullman is pretty hot. Okay, news flash, Galaxy Quest is not a good movie...why is my dad watching it? Argh, I want to post some pictures, but my digital camera is being a fucktard. Talk to y'all later.

happy turkey day

As much as I like chicken...today is the day of the turkey...and cranberries. Geez Cat, how can you not enjoy turkey and cranberries? Well, its good to hear that all of your Thanksgiving's have gone good...mine was somewhat tolerable, but I think I offended my grandmother...I said something completely benevolent to her...and she left! Ouch! Oh and I used to watch Mr. Dressup as well. I woke up at 10:00 this morning and helped cook and stuff...which consisted of opening the cranberry and olive cans and pouring them into bowls, but hey, I HELPED! Then I just kinda waited around for my odd family to arrive. It was rather uneventful. I won't delve into the family issues incase someone from my family accidentally stumbles onto this blog. And then I went to work. Which was saucy. And then I came home. All in all it was a good day.