Hide the children...bring out the swimmers...the quotes have landed!

So, how long has it been since I did quotes?...I know its been a long while...Cat inspired me to do more though, she printed out all of the quotes that we've done! Yay...I have some goods swimmer quotes harvested from tonights excursion. More of that later.

Before the meet, Cat, Adrian (...he's a boy...) & I got into a bit of a water fight and somehow I became locked in the little changing room within the boys changing room with Adrian, so I put an ice cube down his shirt. It was fricken hilarious. And Sarah had the nerve to show up at the meet...I don't think anyone talked to her. Oh...and I'm tres proud of Cat for staying strong and not talking to her. The GD swim meet got canceled due to a power outage that turned off the pump thingie. So, we had the senior night celebration for a little while. I think I freaked out Dex, for some reason quite unknown to me, I acted like I was going to kiss him...it was pretty funny. Then he left to have mad, passionate, Canadian sex with Jake. Maybe they'll do a little snowboarding while they are there...if they ever get out of bed that is.

Cat, Lia and I decided to go to Timmy's to hang out for a while, since we had hours to kill before we needed to be home...pretty soon, half of the swim team decided to come...PARTY AT TIMMY'S!!! It was good fun. But now, on to the quotes:

1. Feel it on the way out -- Lia
2. You have a penis? -- Corey to Lia
3. This jacket just melts my butter -- Corey
4. I don't want a wet kisss -- Cat to Lia
5. Don't say that with my head in your lap -- Cat to me
6. Do you want to see something that will make you feel better about yourself? -- Lia to Adrian
7. It wasn't wet, it was just a willy -- me
8. I was saving myself for Sam -- Megan
9. I'd do it to Catherine -- Megan
10. Is my foot between your legs? -- Cat to Lia
11. I spooned with Andrea -- Megan

I'm feeling the love

Apparently someone wants to publish one of my blog posts in their book...woot! It's the one titled 'Sex In School Restrooms = Unhygienic'...I'm feeling uber special.

....

Okay...I heart the snow day...or whatever the hell day we had today. Lia and I went shopping at Target for a while and got some shampoo and conditioner that came with a free fm radio...what a weird thing to come with shampoo. Oh, and I got the best movie of all time 'Kate & Leopold'. I love that movie so much...and I got another copy of 'Bend It Like Beckham' because mine is broken beyond repair. Oy vey...Taxes suck ass. My dad turns into mucho retard around tax time. He doesn't understand life, I swear. Well...now I have gynormous amounts of homework to do, so bubbye for now. Oh, and I'm on an über nerd bender, I've been watching 'Star Wars' for the last couple of nights...I know, I'm a sexy beast when I want to.

The Infamous Ms. Wyss

Okay, I had heard about this video, but didn't believe that it really existed until now...I found the video of Ms. Wyss on Jimmy Kimmel...on a dating segment...woot. Its emotionally disturbing. You have to copy this address onto the address bar though...and I don't know why: http://www.tronguy.net/videos/JKL040913-320.mov

Oh, and by the way

I guess I made Cat laugh while she was eating a rice krispy treat and someone (Lia, Cat or I) pulled the zipper on my fleecie and she spat a rice krispy on my boob.

Laying on the floor in her sneakers, underwear and tanktop...LAUGHING HER ASS OFF

OH MY GOD!!! snap pants are way too much fun for Cat, Lia and I. First they depantsed me in the conference room full of people...thankfully I ran towards the wall without being seen...So then I'm out for revenge...Cat is running away from me an subsequently crashes into a closed door and sits down in fear of her pants...so in one or two good pulls I pulled them completely off and ran down the hall with them...Cat was laying on the floor in her sneakers, underwear and tank top laughing her ass off...It was the highlight of my life.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm watching Comedy Central with my mom and this guy was talking about his wife getting her toenails done and she doesn't have the baby toenails so they painted the skin on her baby toe to make it look like she had them!! Is it pathetic that I do the exact same thing?

I heart Green Day

Miso excited! I just ordered the Green Day CD with Good Riddance on it! Its the "I hope you have the time of your life" song. WOOT!! I fell in love with that song when Joey Russell and his friend sang the acoustic version of it at the talent show...and the CD cost me a total of $2.79...so I don't feel like I'm spending money that I don't have. Oh Cat...You better post! Or else...I'll tell all about your "(insert person here) with benefits" Okay, I'm not that mean...Or am I?

things that swim team managers forget...

> Not every guy is an underwear model
> It is not appropriate to grab every ass that you see
> Boners don't occur that often
> The pool is not your home
> Just because they flirt doesn't mean the don't have a girlfriend
> Not everyone appreciates the occasional boob poke (Cat needs to be reminded often)
> Swimmers can be assholes - ie, Kevin Wood

My topless dress

Yeah, I was trying to tell my mom that I found an awesome strapless dress, but I kept calling it topless instead. Woot! Cat and I had quite a trip to the mall...the stupid JC Penney place doesn't have layaway or 24 hour holding on formal wear, so my mom and I went back and got it. And we got some buttons! The weiner button is sexy. Cat, I'm so proud of you...you grew some muchos huevos. Okay, I love you all, but I cannot think of anything else to blog about.

Okay, I thought of something else...Megan (upat...duh) thinks that my brother is gay...he made me a cd and its not so masculine, so...yeah, she put it in her journal that my brother is a homosexual. Bubbye.

WTF

What the hell is up with the universe? Okay, so its not that big of a deal, but I wanna know why I got verbally bitch-slapped today in English class! I didn't do anything or "talk shit" about Lindsay Lane and somehow I'm being accused of calling her a slut and telling people that I hate her...I'm so confused. But on with other news...

Here's a game I like to call "What Is Woody Doing?"

(a) Sniffing my mom's slipper.
(b) Playing hide the catnip.
(c) Throwing up in my mom's slipper....................
..........And the answer is (c) Throwing up in my mom's slipper.
He's such a little freak...my mom was taking a picture of him because she thought he was being cute...little did she know that he was doing that.Oh, and I finally found out what "Oy Vey" means...its yiddish for "Oh my." Woot. One last thing...the boys swim team is rubbing off on us...we're so much more touchy feely now...its...odd.

May I be the first to say what the crap? Why can we not have weather like this when we have to go to school? I was out driving today at like 9:30 and damn...I really hope you guys didn't go to that swim meet today, it's pretty damn dangerous out there. Holy shit. Oh, and I have to go in to work today because a bazillion people called in, I have to go in at like 3:00 to help cook, how much does that suck? Happy birthday tomorrow Nicole! And I'm happy that laser tag was fun last night, I really wish I could have been there.Oh, and Cat? I got next Friday off, so Michael Phelps, here we come...I mean U of M, here we come...who am I kidding? I heart Michael Phelps!

Gonna chop my car up into little pieces

Okay, so I'm getting ready this morning, and I walk out to my car to get it warmed up...well, that didn't go entirely as planned, my car had turned into a giant, SUV shaped icicle. When I say icicle, I mean its a frozen mother fucker, the keys wouldn't even turn in the locks. So yeah, my dad was already gone to work and my mom's car was blocked in by mine, so I had to stay home and do some cleaning. My car finally thawed out around 10:30, but by then, I had missed the one class that I needed to go to today, so I continued to clean. Argh...

someone up there doesn't like me much

Argh...yes, I am aware that I haven't posted since last year, but no one reads this anyways, its a bore...Perchè è la gente stupido?

Hmmph...

Um...there's absolutely nothing to blog about right now. I did have some oatmeal though, and that's always an event. I've been confined to the house all weekend, only allowed to leave for work. Trust me, its boring. Oh, I am so unimpressed with our dear president, Señor Bush. He's spending $40 million on his inaugural party. WTF? Is it necessary to spend $40 million on a party when people affected by this gigantic tsunami could use a little help? Granted it didn't happen in the U.S., but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't help. Have some compassion George.

Cat's New Word

MULESTATION!! WOOT...she was trying to type "molestation" which is...scary, but woot! hmm...definition: (1) Carnal knowledge of a donkey (2) mule-station: a toilet

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, ready to jump infront of a bus...I just got my SAT score back *sob* and now I want to go die in a hole. Bubbye.

The best day ever!

Woot! Misohappy! Okay, so last night, Lia, Nicole and I played Texas Hold 'Em and LCR with Jaime...I lost...a lot. I folded like a cheap whore! Then this morning, my mom and I went out to Pontiac to get my car stereo installed...and I got the new Lenny Kravitz CD...Oh, by the way Lia, I'll be sure to let you listen to it, I know how much you love Lenny. And then I went online because I have some Christmas money that was burning a hole in my pocket and I ordered the R. Kelly CD, Bowling For Soup, Switchfoot, and John Mayer's new CD (he's my lover, by the way). Now I get to go to work and train one of the biggest fucktards that I have ever met. But all is well in the land of Sexy Sam. See y'all later. Oh, really quick: I was walking around ABC Warehouse, waiting for my CD player to be installed and guess what show was on all of the TVs...PHIL OF THE FUTURE...Lia would have...well, lets just say she would have been really happy.

5 more months

Heck Yeah! Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I've been waiting for 2005 for such a long time. Say it with me...we graduate in 5 months! Okay, I must get off of the computer...wait...how many days is it until we graduate? 147~ish days........HELL YEAH!

"SPEAKING OF BOMBS!!"

Oh, how badly we want to put that into our newscast...too bad it has to be school appropriate, the bloopers will be kick ass though. It would almost be worth it for us to put "speaking of bombs" into the newscast...we could always play dumb..."I didn't know that was in there, honestly (insert scapegoat here) edited our film!" I think Cat would murder us and chop us up and bury us in the tunnel underneath the pool. I'm so excited, I don't have to work today! This is the first day since Christmas eve that I haven't had to work. But I do get to ruin the day by going to the doctor and cleaning my room. Oh, and by the way, my mom is forbidding me to go anywhere after work on New Years Day, she says I'm going to need my rest after working for 14 hours...which I slightly agree with...If we're doing something, I'll sneak over to Lia's for a little while and just tell my mom that we got off of work late...I think some LCR would be appropriate. Okay, I'm gonna go do some serious organizing. Salut! Oh, and I think LCR is queer beans<-- I just think it sounds funny...is queer beans bad? (Yeah Nicole!)

Don't Let Lia ZAP You

Lia is a super nerd. I let her Zap me today...ooh that sounds somewhat saucy. Remember when we were in like 4th grade and you would let someone right ZAP and a time on your hand and then right someone's name (preferably a boy's name) on your palm, and then you had to wait until said time to look at your palm otherwise you have to ask that person out? Yeah, well Lia is a nerd. This is who she Zapped me with:

The wild and untamed thing:
Paula, the 40 year old lunchperson of an unspecifified gender.

WOAH!!
Okay, now that that's over, I'm so excited! First, I'm not working a double on New Years Day, so my mom is letting me go to Lia's thing and then on Sunday morning, I'm getting my car stereo installed...I'm getting a f***ing Kenwood...I'm stoked! Yes, I realize that I just said stoked. Now I must go to Kroger to get my daddy a dessert.

Christmas time is here by golly...

...Deck the halls with hunks of holly! Salut all. I hope all your Christmases are going well. Mine went okay, but it was yesterday, cuz I'm just awesome like that. I got a new messenger bag...they are a borderline obsession now...I have like 4! And I got a gynormous bottle of my favorite perfume. Everything else was okay, those were just my favorites. Is it sad that I'm actually looking forward to working today? Because I am...I get to get dressed up around lunchtime and waitress for the main dining hall. Heck Yeah!! Now I must clean my bedroom. Bubbye.

Praying for snow didn't work out so well, huh?

Yeah...I'm not allowed to drive until my mom says so, that's how bad the f***ing snow is. Oh, and I'm not going to practice...mommy said no. Come on mom! It's only one mile! But yeah, I understand why, there's like a foot of snow out there and 4 wheel drive only goes so far. I really hope it gets better outside! My mom won't let me do anything, including doing our taping! I wish she wasn't being such a bitch about it, but she says its because she doesn't want me to get killed. Damn protective mothers. WTFF...Je n'aime pas la neige! Why can't we all live in a state that is a little less snow...remind me again why I decided to go to college here. Oy vey. More posts from the blizzard later.

Life Lessons From Lia

Lia just "taught" me how "hawk a loogie" (<-- that was spelled completely wrong)...and she did it over the phone.

The broken penis incident

Okay, I hope that got your attention...I broke some guys penis on Wednesday! I was putting my messenger bag on my shoulder and this guy, who by the way is a dickhead, gets in my way a little and I accidentally slammed my books into his penis...He bent over and made the "oofffffffff" noise. I felt bad, but not bad enough to make it feel better. Okay, that was rather saucy...but what can I say? I heart sauciness. Yes, I know that I haven't blogged in forever and a day, but I haven't had any time to myself for the last month. Woah, I just saw the most sensual commercial in the world...and it was for chocolate. Oh, and I hate the word "sensual" with a passion, but it applied. HECK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to work a waitress shift on Christmas! That means $100 for 8 hours of work! Okay, I'll talk to y'alls later.

FUCK

Ya know what? I tend to have the worst timing when I get sick...Yes, you heard it from me, I'm fucking sick again, this time its a full out upper respiratory infection. That means no school...although I might come in on Tuesday because of our project. Do not kill me, I swear I don't plan these illnesses. But yeah, I won't be in school tomorrow for sure, so if anyone in my History group is reading, email me with anything that you need done for the newscast and I'll do it and just email it to Cat or Lia. Fucking Fuck.

no more projectile vomiting

Okay, am I not allowed to have good news anymore? Gee whiz. My big, fat dog got put to sleep today...I'm so sad...he was like my retarded little brother that couldn't talk, but he could lick himself and try to fornicate with blankets. But in other news, the people who work at the pool are the most annoying people I have ever met. Oh yeah! The projectile vomiting is completely over. Yay!

praying to the porcelain God

Okay...what the hell did I do to piss God off? Because I have the flu with a vengence. I can't even drink water without throwing it up...yes, I know, nice image. My mom is making me carry around a can of Lysol with me so I don't infect her and my dad. Y-U-C-K! Somehow I don't think that I'll be seeing you guys in school on Monday.

way to sleep the day away

Wow, I just woke up from what I meant to be a nice little nap...I most definitely slept through lunch and dinner. Okay...I know that I promised myself that I wouldn't go on the after Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza, but I just couldn't help myself. I drove up to Target and found a whole bunch of gift bags for a dollar each...it made my day. And they're so pretty! Oh, and before the excruciatingly long nap, I did watch a little Phil of the Future...and Ricky Ullman is pretty hot. Okay, news flash, Galaxy Quest is not a good movie...why is my dad watching it? Argh, I want to post some pictures, but my digital camera is being a fucktard. Talk to y'all later.

happy turkey day

As much as I like chicken...today is the day of the turkey...and cranberries. Geez Cat, how can you not enjoy turkey and cranberries? Well, its good to hear that all of your Thanksgiving's have gone good...mine was somewhat tolerable, but I think I offended my grandmother...I said something completely benevolent to her...and she left! Ouch! Oh and I used to watch Mr. Dressup as well. I woke up at 10:00 this morning and helped cook and stuff...which consisted of opening the cranberry and olive cans and pouring them into bowls, but hey, I HELPED! Then I just kinda waited around for my odd family to arrive. It was rather uneventful. I won't delve into the family issues incase someone from my family accidentally stumbles onto this blog. And then I went to work. Which was saucy. And then I came home. All in all it was a good day.

how hot is this?

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Yeah, I'm just good like that

Oh, I made a webshots thing with all of our photos on it...because I'm that cool.

no tears

Okay, let me clarify, no tears at the banquet...Allison made me cry during 4th hour. The banquet was perfect this year. Oh, and they love me, they really love me! They got me some gift cards AND a pomegranate!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You heard correct, I got a pomegranate! That made my month. And now I can finally talk about the captains...J'aime Cappy Duke! and Liz Butler!

yeah girls swim team!

I'd just like to take this time to say how proud I am of the girls swim team, they are both dual meet champions and MAC Blue champions. Oh, and Cat got 4th in the 200 Free, 3rd in the 100 Fly, and 1st in both of her relays. Yay! I was so proud of this team that I cried when the score was read. Yes, you read right...Sam cried...infront of people! OMG, the sleepover at the pool was a lot of fun, too. We swam for hours and played with the resistance rubberband things. Oh, and we went onto the roof, where I was attached to Cat via elbow...I don't know what persuaded me to go onto the roof...I'm DEATHLY afraid of heights...I can go up the ladder to get to the roof, however, going down is just a little too scary pour moi. We also went into the tunnel that goes somewhat around the pool...that was rather scary the first time, but after that, it wasn't so bad, it was dustier than shit though.

so shoot me

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged in a month...I've just been to busy. OMG am I busy...

centralis was...........special

Cat and I definitely just spent 14 hours together yesterday...and we did not kill each other, thank you very much Lia! We sang for about 5 hours to This Love by Maroon 5 and Landslide by the Dixie Chicks...it was stupendous. Oh, and we stopped on the side of the road so Cat could run through a corn field. And we got super lost in Saginaw. I updated the webshots album with some photos from yesterday. Here's a few:
You are guests in my corn!!

Jacques has competetion:

Just a little friendly anal probing:

my tongue is peeling

Okay, I know that's a nice image. I just had a bite of hamburger helper (I was a hamburger helper virgin until 2 minutes ago) and I didn't realize that it was capable of burning my face off. There' s little bits of tongue melting off. Okay, I'll stop talking about that now. Centralis is tomorrow...I might just kill myself, but Cat and I are gonna have a little road trip, so it won't be that bad. Except for the country music, THAT will be bad. Oh yeah, I've gotta upload some interesting pictures, maybe I'll do that when I get home. Bubbye.

porquoi moi?

Okay, I'm so ready to jump infront of a bus right now, it's not even funny. I go to Jiffy Lube to get my oil changed this morning, and they couldn't do it because I have a GAS LEAK. Way to go. So now I don't think I can drive my GD car until I get it fixed. I'm so outta money, I have less than $100 in my bank account right now, I really can't pay to get this piece of shit fixed...and to top it off, in all the rain/wind storms that have been attacking us lately, a tree branch fell out of a tree and on to my windsheild, making a beautiful crack.

happy happy joy joy

Oh my God...Homecoming was the funnest (so, it's not a word) thing I've ever done! I definately grabbed a few guys' asses, namely Chris, Jeff and Jake. Yeah, I get around. Lia put some pictures on her website. Too funny...and no, in the first picture I AM NOT MAKING OUT WITH CAT. Oh and I got written up at work because I called in for homecoming...when they already knew that I couldn't come...I almost hope they fire me. My mom is watching the worst movie in the world right now: Twister. I hate it with a passion, maybe it's because of the flying cows.

we are not lesbians

Everyone needs to go to Lia's website and look at the pictures from homecoming...they are tres saucy. The first one isn't from homecoming, it's from the pep assembly on Friday. Please keep in mind that Cat and I are playing the pass the orange game and NOT MAKING OUT, with that said, it looks like I'm trying to eat Cat's neck. Looking at these pictures made me cry, they are just that funny. Okay, I've gotta go to bed. Right now.

Wanna know why I haven't posted?

I'VE BEEN AT WORK FOR NINE DAYS STRAIGHT!! Now that I officially want to die, the running total of people who have been fired/quit is 4 since the beginning of this month. Cat- Now do you want to work here? Argh. Oh yeah...Lia, I'm gonna kill you and you're little friend Denny. At least my date isn't a sophmore! Yeah, so what if it's Cat, I DON'T CARE!! Okay, I think my tantrum is over now. FINE! I won't kill Lia, happy now?

Kill Me Now

Okay, it's official, I'm going to homecoming, I bought a dress today. Oh, and Lia...Alisha isn't on the schedule. I'm going to kill the Village of East Harbor (Presbyterian Village's pretentious new name). Every day that we don't have a swim meet, I'm working.

my week in review

Before you ask, yes, I do feel guilty for not blogging in the last week, I've just been too busy. Here's the rundown: School, practice, work; school, practice, work; school, practice, work; school, swim meet; school, practice, work, ice skating; work, nap, work; wash cars, work. So, I apologize. Oh, and yesterday at work, this girl freaked out because she assumed that I said something rude about the spoons, and she made up this story and told my supervisor. Too bad my supervisior likes me and not her. Haha. And by the way, Lia quit on Friday because people have been real assholes to her lately...which sucks. Alright, I've gotta get off the computer.

they love me...they really love me

Oh Peter, Paul and Mary! My mom and dad got me a car for my birthday! Well, I paid for half of it...but that's besides the point. I got a Midnight Blue 92 Ford Explorer. I did almost the same exact thing that Cat did when my mom told her we weren't moving **giggles**. And they got me a $50 Target card. This is the best birthday I've ever had. Cat got me Peter Pan on dvd...she really knows me. Lia got me an Italian Dictionary (Yay!!!) and the book As Luck Would Have It. Oh, and my grandma took me book shopping. Here's something funny: after paying for the car, I have $13.42 left in my bank account. I forgot to tell y'all about what Cat and Sarah did, on Thursday, I rode with them to the pool, and they dropped me off because Sarah had to get a "personal item". So they come back ten minutes later with a bouquet of balloons (which later flew out of my window...by no fault of my own) and the whole swim team sang for me. Then Cat and Lia and I went out to Applebee's because I felt like an idiot for sitting at home with my parents on my 17th birthday, and the Applebee's people embarrassed the shit out of me (okay, bad image). But I got a sundae out of the deal. Then we went shopping for underwear for the underwear chain. More on that tomorrow. I've gotta go make the house immaculately clean for my mom's surprise party tomorrow. Love y'all. (Once again, stop using y'all)

Rabbit, Rabbit

Yeah, the title pretty much sums it up.

My gaydar never fails

Remember Playing It Straight? Bradley is GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it. Sorry Cat & Lia, I know you loved him. There were only 5 straight guys on the entire show. If you don't believe me, follow this link and go to bios.
Gay
Alex -- Law student, Washington, DC
Bill -- Event promoter, Valley Glen, CA
Bradley -- Bartender, Pflugerville, PA
Chad -- Corporate communications, Austin, TX
Chris -- Retired entrepreneur, Atlanta, GA
Eddie -- School teacher, Miami, FL
John -- Bartender, Atlanta, GA
Lee -- Financial consultant, N. Huntington, PA
Luciano -- Personal trainer, Miami Beach, FL

Straight
Banks -- Software consultant, San Diego, CA
Gust -- Real estate agent, Chicago, IL
Louis -- Manager, brokerage firm, Fort Worth, TX
Ryan -- Waiter, Santa Monica, CA
Sharif -- Musician, Arlington, VA

Happy Birthday Daddio

Gossip Girl is gonna be a movie! ...I bet Cat will wanna see it because Lindsay Lohan is her lesbian life partner. Did I just say that out loud? Oops. *bad Sam* I was just gonna post saying that I would shut down the blog if posts didn't start picking up, so your timing is impeccable. Oh! Today's my dad's birthday, he's 48. I made him a three layer cake because I'm just that good of a daughter. I also have to figure out what to do for my mom's birthday, it's next Sunday. And if anyone was wondering *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* my birthday is on Friday. Love y'all. Mental note: Try to say y'all less often.

the happiest moment of my life

Yesterday, my aunt told me that Michael Phelps is going to swim for U of M! Maybe I'll fill out an application. That could possibly be the most shallow thing I have ever said...but who cares? Michael Phelps is going to U of M!

fjord

I'm so obsessed with the word fjord right now, and I don't know why. Yes, its an actual word...its a narrow inlet from the sea, usually bounded by cliffs. Oh, and if you don't think i'm crazy already, it came to me in a dream. So anyways, I'm the new manager for the swim team, I'm so happy! That team is like my second family...well most of them anyways. I've found new and interesting ways to be an idiot, the most recent was yesterday. I was out school shopping, so I picked up Braveheart for my dad's birthday tomorrow, then when I got home, I set it on the table and went to work. Guess who found it? DADDY!! Was it really that hard to figure out? I feel like I should get him something else now. Damn. Okay, I'm gonna get off the compute before I start taking my aggression out on the keyboard. I'll just watch some sweaty guys play volleyball.

what not to do on a 4-wheeler

I'm such a dick. I went camping with my dad last week, and all went well until we rented 2 4-wheelers. Bad idea. So, 20 minutes after I get on mine, I find a way to crash it into a tree. And break it...$250.00 worth of damage and some beautiful bruises to accompany it. What happened was, I was going 10 mph down a hill, and I got pulled into some deep sand and I couldn't find the break, and CRUNCH!!! I hit the tree and fly about 10 feet into a patch of moss surrounded by a whole lotta wood. Then I crawled from the woods onto the path that my dad and I were on, so he would see me when he came looking for me, because I wasn't behind him anymore. I was so upset, not because I was hurt, but because my dad had to pay for the damage. I'm a dork. At some point, I'll post some pictures of both the bruises and the tree...its that good.

Well, its been 5 whole days since my last post, though I really wouldn't call that one a post. I'm so excited, I'm going up north with my dad Tuesday night and we're gonna do a whole bunch of fun stuff, we're gonna go 4-wheeling, parasailing, horseback riding and possibly jet skiing...but don't tell my mom, she only knows that we're going up north, so if anyone leaks this information to her, I will personally kill you. On a less violent note, I've discovered that my mom's fried chicken is unbelievably good when it is cold. Speaking of fried chicken, I came home from Blockbuster on Thursday to find Cat and Chris in my kitchen, my mom in the garage and Chris frying the chicken...it was a very strange scene. He's such a domestic! Oh, and I'm very mad at the sewer pipes that are in front of every house on my street right now, for undisclosed reasons...yet another thing my parents can't find out. Oh, I saw The Princess Diaries 2 the other day with Lia and Nicole, it was pretty good, but the floor was really sticky. Oh, one of my favorite residents died the other day, damn it, we aren't supposed to get attached. I'm doing my summer calculus homework right now...I could really use a good game of tourettes. Umm...I don't think that there's really anything else to cover, I just know that y'all are on the edge of your seat anyways.

The Best Quote Ever

I think that this is one of the the absolute funniest quotes I have ever heard.
I'll come while you doink -- Cat

my so called life

I'm so boring, I haven't anything to blog about...oh, but I might be going parasailing in a week or so. Yay.

Fucking sad movies

Okay, I think that I broke my elbow. I hit it on the stupid trash compactor at work and now its still tingling. Oh, and by the way, whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH Second Hand Lions. I cried for over half of that stupid movie...it was good though.

I'm gonna kick some ass

I'm in a bad mood about work right now, I got my 3 month evaluation last night and my supervisor told me that I was doing a good job, but when I got my evaluation, it said that I meet some expectations. Argh. So right now, work can suck it...not all of them at once though. In other news, I just had to stomach peach yogurt, and trust me, that was no walk in the park, peaches are the one of the most disgusting fruits, along with watermelon, grapefruit, and pears. I'm gonna cut this post short, because I keep staring at the wall instead of focusing on the computer screen.

daddy is a hick

Work sucked big ass today, then my dad picked me up and looked like such a hick...he wasn't wearing a shirt, he looked like he was plucked right out of Osgood, Indiana. Then we almost got hit by this girl who wasn't looking where she was driving. Oh, but anyways, at work, Lia and I had to run the mats through the dish machine and I was putting them on a rack, so I got soaking wet, I looked like I had just gone swimming. I can't wait to go to sleep. In fact, I'm gonna go to bed in 11 minutes, I just have to do the dishes first.

Rabbit, Rabbit

Oh yeah, I've got good luck all month long!

save a horse, ride a cowboy

I'm getting fed up with the music at work, its all country all the time. Oh, by the way, I HATE COUNTRY MUSIC with a passion, there's only a select few songs that I like. It's like the people at work don't know that there is other music to listen to, just WYCD. Yes, I have memorized the radio station thing. I really want to play a game of tourettes.

take cover!...hide the children!...the quotes are coming!

Wow, the first batch of good quotes since school!  Here we go:
 
 1. I don't get any service between my legs -- Allison -- Really?  I do 
   
 2. Catherine, stop wiggling, you're getting me excited -- Allison -- Why do all of the parties at my house turn weird?
  
 3. I'm not cattle, quit prodding me! -- me -- Moooo...I mean...damn it
  
 4. No one names their penis Nemo -- Allison -- How do you know?
  
 5. Feel Cat -- Allison -- Ya know, I'd rather not
  
 6. I often plook when I hit Jerry's Pizza trucks -- Allison -- What is the definition of a plook?
  
 7. You just said stroke and cox (cocks...hehe) in the same sentence -- Allison --Naughty, naughty
  
 8. There's an ass light -- Allison -- See, now that's not something I have in my room
  
 9. It doesn't need thumbs, it has a very skilled tongue -- Allison -- Let's not even get into that one

 
10. I enjoy it slow -- me -- Pretty self explanitory, isn't it?
 
11. Is it going down easy? -- Lia -- Yes, yes it is
 
12. I pulled the stick out -- Amanda -- Good, it shouldn't stay in for too long
 
13. I'm a one handed prophet -- Amanda -- Yeah, or a curbside prophet
 
14. I'm drying out my knee! -- Lia -- Okay!  Have fun with that!
 
15. What is it, elephant butt hair? -- Amanda -- Yes...
 
16. My fart! -- me -- This is what happens when Lia farts on your foot
 
17. Suck it! -- Amanda -- No!
 
18. Don't you put your finger in my fuzzy! -- me -- Oooh saucy
 
19. We're drunken tourettes with gas problems -- Cat -- Nope, no gas problems here, that's Lia and Cat

20. She's awake...I'm rollin' on her -- Cat -- That's...interesting

21. Kristine has a cold butt -- Cat -- I'm enlightened

 

the pureed beets incident

Oh My God! Yesterday was so much fun! We had a surprise party for Cat's 17th birthday. Lia and I were talking on the phone like 4 days ago and decided that we should have a surprise party, and everything actually worked, except for the fact that I forgot to tell some people to spend the night...but all in all it was a blast. Oh, so anyways, Cat nearly foiled our plans by deciding to meet us at Tim Hortons rather than have us pick her up, so Lia and I were on the phone for about 1 hour trying to figure out new way to make this party work. So, everyone was supposed to arrive at 8-ish and just chill upstairs until Lia, Cat and I got back from Timmy's, but when Cat decided to drive, Lia and I decided that I should stay at my house while she went and stalled Cat at Tim Hortons...but being the coniving bitch that I am, I came up with a lie at the last minute: (oh, btw, Lia and I told Cat that we had to work so that we could stall it as long as possible) Lia met Cat at Timmy's and told her that I had to go home real quick and take a shower because I somehow managed to get pureed beets in my hair and I would meet them there at 8:30 (it's scary when that kind of lie is believable)...but Lia and I both knew that I wouldn't be going up their at all, I just had to wait until everyone got there, then I could call Lia and tell her to just come over. Almost everything went according to plan, but Kristine couldn't make it until later. Anyways, back at my house, I had everyone hiding upstairs and when Cat and Lia arrived, we went upstairs, of course Cat had to go first. We sure surprised her, she almost fell down the stairs...we even made her cry! I think there were ten people there at one point, and we all chipped in to get her a dvd player and some dvd's. Lia, Cat, Kristine and Amanda ended up spending the night, and we started playing a game called "Fruits" but we soon adapted it to fit our own taste...lets just say tourettes would have been a more appropriate name. We didn't go to sleep until about 6:00 this morning, so I'm running on 3.5 hours of sleep.

the tranquilizer dart

I just yawned and it sounded like Will Ferrell when he got hit with a tranquilizer dart in Old School...and then I laughed for like 5 minutes...alone.

the athiest gay lesbian

Wow, last night Lia and I were talking on the phone...actually it was this morning, but anyways, she was looking at scholarships and there was one for athiest gays and lesbians.  For some reason that made me laugh so hard, but a lot of things make me laugh really hard after midnight.  I think she actually kept some quotes!  Today is gonna suck some big ass, I have to clean the house all day and my bedroom is a disaster area.  I'm really in the mood to watch How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days and I don't know why.  Oh, I forgot to tell you guys about my near panic attack last night.  This one seriously makes me doubt my sanity.  So, I was getting a spoon so I could get some cottage cheese out of the container and I open the drawer only to find that the tea spoons are where the soup spoons go and vice versa...I completely flipped out for half of a minute.  I was like "Oh my God mom, what happened to the spoons!  Mom, can you hear me?  I don't know what happened, they're in the wrong spot!"  She practically had to talk me down.  I think I need to go on some sort of anti-phsycotic medication.  Okay, enough for now, maybe I'll go for a bike ride.

So much for being on time...

I am so not in the mood to go to work. Oh shit! My uniforms are in the washer...I must dry them right now! Bubbye.

is that another penis guy?

My grandma is such a goof-ball, we were driving down I-94 and this really old guy was driving a little sports car, so my grandma asks if he's another penis guy...I guess I'll explain a little, my mom told my grandma that old guys who drive cars like that are making up for something *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*.  I went to a used book store and got 6 or 7 books for thirty dollars, I'm so happy, I got The Devil Wears Prada and Bridget Jones's Diary among other things.  And then I sucked on popsicles until my mouth started to bleed.  I always seem to do that.  Oh, I just remembered something!  I was vaccuuming the other day and my cat was laying at the bottom of the stairs, hissing at the vaccuum.  It was actually kind of funny.  Before I go, I'm going to leave another shameless plug for my new blog good times, good times.  Yeah, so the name is the same as the old one, but otherwise it's cool. 

oh my Ford!

Brave New World is kind of a weird book, but it's interesting all the same.  One thing that struck me odd was that instead of using the word 'God', they used 'Ford'...yes, Henry Ford is their deity.  I think I'm going to start using Ford, its kinda fun and it confuses people.  I have to go make my dad's stupid lunch.  That means I have to touch mayonnaise...for all of you that don't know of my aversion to mayonnaise, besides the fact that its egg whites and vinegar...at the tender age of five, my brother convinced me that mayonnaise was glue, and even though I, a sixteen year old, know that mayonnaise is not glue, I can't use it.  Well, that was enough insight for one day.

Okay...I'm gonna end all the depressing shit after today.  The funeral was today...oh my God...seeing grown men cry is the most unnerving thing in the entire world.  The most ironic thing happened though today...the daughter of guy that died went into labor today.  Anyways, I'm a really bad person, I realized that I make fun of people....at funerals.  I'm going straight to hell...no stops on the way....just a one way ticket.  But how could I resist?  There was this one lady with a beard, this other lady is just a bitch, another guy looked like a weasel, and this one guy had a soul patch, but he was like 50.  I felt so sorry for his sons, Aaron and Chris, they are 27 and 20 and they're the two nicest people I know.  And the last depressing thing....I can't stand to look at dead bodies, they never look like the people that they were.  Sooooo.....If you didn't get an invitation to join my blog forum, I probably didn't have your email, so email me and I'll invite you.  Bubbye!

it's a good thing

Has anyone started reading Brave New World yet?  It's actually kinda good.  I'm really not looking forward to reading Frankenstein though, I'm sorry, but I'm just not into monsters.  Oh, and did anyone hear that Martha Stewart is going to jail for 5 months?  It's a good thing.  No, really, I think it's a bit excessive.  Anyways, I have to go tape Inuyasha for Lia, so I must leave you all now.

recycling blogs

Hey, I made a new blog, but this one is gonna be like a forum, different people can post, not just me...oh my gosh, does this mean I have to relinquish editorial control?  Anyways, if you want to join, email me and i'll add you to the list...yes, the list.

everything's different now

Can you tell I was bored?  I'm guessing that all of you are confused by the new title, it's something that my aunt will understand though!  All i can tell you is that my aunt's friend said that these two dogs looked like a dishrag and a raisin, and I just can't get that out of my head.  I'm finally starting to understand how to do some html crap, but I really have no clue what I'm doing.  I have to go to bed now, I'll post again today though.  Bubbye.

osckey, the lesser known mouse

I don't know what my problem is, but i had the Oscar Meyer weiner song stuck in my head, then all of the sudden it turned into the Mickey Mouse song, and when it got to the part when you spell Mickey Mouse, it went like this: O-S-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E.  How screwed up is that?

why do people die?

Holy f***!  Okay, I'm officially freaked out right now.  My dad's oldest friend, who he hasn't talked to in about 4 years because some stupid fight they had, died at work of a heart attack today.  He was practically my uncle...and his daughter, Shannon, is 9 months pregnant.  It seems so unreal.  In other news, I'm not going to go to U of M, because I was talking to an architect and he said that an architecture degree from U of M doesn't mean shit, so I'm probably going to go to CMU for 2 years and then I'll go to either Arizona State, Texas A & M, Virginia Tech, or Georgia Tech.  My brain is fried now, I can't even concentrate on blogging.

if wishes were raindrops...

So I'm out on my daily bike ride (10.11 miles, Yay me) and a torrential rainstorm starts, but me, being the dork that I am rode right through it...it rained for about 5 miles. I'm pretty much soaked to the bone, sitting here typing this vital information. I never thought dry clothes sounded so good. I'm contemplating renaming my blog, good times, good times is gettin' kind of old. Laters.

we all have our proclivities

Yep, you guessed it, I learned a new word today! Proclivity, which means predisposition. If I were any more of a nerd, it would hurt.

the whole world is out to get me

Okay, so that was a little melodramatic...but nothing seems to be going my way what so ever. And as if my life didn't suck enough, Blockbuster probably won't be getting season 2 of my current obsession, Six Feet Under. Good grief! Oh! I did rent Bad Santa...I couldn't resist, it looked too funny to pass up, something about a naughty santa just brightens my day. Okay...I just caught my dog staring at me and when I looked at him, he averted his eyes. Wow, I really need to get my summer reading books done, I haven't even bought them yet. I'd write more, but my dear mum is making me clean the bathroom. See y'all later.

msu sucks

I hate MSU with a passion right now. It seems like it and every other university I want to go to doesn't offer architecture as a major...wtf? I just thought I'd share that with y'all. Bubbye.

the girl who slept too much

Yeah, so I wake up this morning at 11:53, already pissed off that I had slept in so much, so I went downstairs and had breakfast and then I went on my bike ride. That's when it hit me...I was supposed to help out with the triathalon this morning at 6:00. I was so mad for a fraction of a second and then realized that there was nothing I could do about it. Yesterday I didn't blog because I was obsessive compulsively rearranging my bedroom...and listening to the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix audio book. I wish I wasn't so weird, because I have to rearrange my bedroom every few months, otherwise I can't stand to be in it. I actually want to go to work today, I'm such a freak. Oh and p.s. I love you Uncle Bill!

the crazy southerner strikes again

Oh my God, she just said "Warshington" instead of "Washington"!

i don't like strangers

There's some crazy assed woman in my house right now who might be moving in to a house on to our block. She's really weird and kind of abrasive, she also has an annoying southern accent. I have no idea who the hell she is, I guess she wanted to ask my mom about the neighborhood, so I guess she doesn't know who she is either. Oh my God! She just said "warsh" instead of "wash". I think I'm going to go crazy, maybe I'll go do the grocery shopping for my mom so I can get the hell out of here. Oh, here's a quote from my dear mother:

I feel like going in my bedroom and meowing really loud to wake up the cat -- mom -- Okay, so she doesn't sound completely crazy, my cat does that to her every morning, and he knocks stuff off of her dresser, but that's besides the point.

people are weird

Since I let you all in on my sleeping habits yesterday, I'll tell you today as well. I'm now a total reverse insomniac, instead of the mere two hours of sleep I got yesterday, I slept for 14 hours last night...yes I do realize that I have some issues. I think I'm officially going crazy, I was staring absentmindedly at my front door and I think the design in the door looks like a corset...wow, way too much Rocky Horror. I am so conflicted about which college to go to at the moment, I think I'm going to apply to U of M, EMU, CMU, and State, but U of M is kinda expensive. I think I'm gonna apply to University of Chicago, because I really, really want to live there, and the out of state tuition is about the same as U of M. Oh my God! I just remembered something that happened last night: I was playing Gin (rummy) online with Lia...I know, what a suprise, its what we do every night...anyways, and I created a table and this girl joins it, so I boot her from the table, so then she instant messages me and calls me a "rude slut". I feel so loved. I took out my rage on her and then ignored her, I did use a few words that I would never say out loud, just to make her feel like shit for a second. I've gotta go fix my computer, its being stupid. Bubbye.

boys don't make passes at girls with big gashes

I'm officially an insomniac, I went to sleep at 7:00 this morning. I put some of the time to good use though, I watched some episodes of Six Feet Under. By the way, I'm such a dork, I wanted to rent the first dvd, with the first few episodes on it, but I accidentally rented the one with episodes 8-10 on it. I think I'm gonna try and get off of work for tomorrow, I feel like I got ran over with a freight train. I've been procrastinating going to work, but now I must go.

procrastination is the key

Yeah, I know its been a long time since I've done quotes, but here's one to start anew:

I'm a pat rack -- Lia -- Oh, yeah yar

british people and my enormous dog

I forgot to tell you guys that I had to vaccuum my dog today. He's such a hairy beast, I swear that his hair grows at the same rate that I brush...or in today's case vaccuum it. I just got back from going out with Lia and Jeff, we had so much fun doing nothing. I really like trying to guess where people are from based on their accents, we couldn't decide where our waitress was from, she sounded like Mrs. (Miss?) Doubtfire. Lia finally asked her where she was from...and the verdict? She's British, my favorite. I think I'm going to throw up, my dad insists on watching "Nature's Nightmares: Bug Attack". This guy is getting stung voluntarily by different bugs...I'm seriously flipping out.

boy do i love the irish

Oooh, I got School of Rock and Under The Tuscan Sun today! I'm such a dork about movies. Ummmmm...let's see, I'm eating some turkey bacon right now. I think it's kind of a weird concept, because when you think of bacon, you think of pigs...well, at least I do, but whatever, it's better than pig bacon. I'm kinda mad at whoever named the moon, cause it should really have a name, Jupiter's moons have cool names, like Io and Europa...we should name it Agamemnon. My dad and my brother are watching The Recruit right now...Colin Farrel is really fricken hot. Okay, now I have to watch The Recruit. Bubbye.
P.S. Love you Uncle Bill

will ferrell is my god

Oh my God!! I'm watching the best of Will Ferrell from SNL...it is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't think everyone can appreciate his humor, but it is so funny, especially the Blue Oyster Cult sketch. Shut up, I know what you're thinking, who the hell is the Blue Oyster Cult? They sing "Don't Fear The Reaper", and there's a cow bell in the song....I'm gonna stop talking now, but for anyone who wants to see the sketch, here's a link. I must go do the dishes.

yes....i am a nerd

Wow, I just realized that yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my leaving for England...it seems like that was a few months ago, not four years ago.

the extraordinary peeing cat

OH MY GOD, I'm going to kill my f***ing cat. I had all of my work clothes in the laundry basket because I had just washed them (duh!), so my cat decides that he has to go pee on them because they're not clean enough already. I'm seriously goinna kill him. Now I have dry my clothes, I just thought I'd share my cats stupid antics with y'all.

don't make fun of the juice

I went to Bay-Rama...I know, I'm such a hypocrite, but the Scrambler was calling my name. Anyways, Lia and her brother and I went to Bay-Rama at 10:00, only to find out that the wristbands aren't usable after 10:00, and each ticket costs $1.00, so it cost each of us $3.00 to ride the Scrambler. Work sucked ass again today and Paula wasn't even there, everyone was just in a bad mood. Oh and I don't think that the world is ready for pomegranate juice, 'cause I bought some on my way to work and I was drinking it in the office before we started working, anyways, its in a weird bottle, so everyone was curious about it, so I let them try it. They decided that it tasted like prune juice...what a buzz kill. But I don't care if they make fun of my juice, because they just aren't cool enough to understand the juice. I have to go to bed right now, I just stared at the wall for a good five minutes before I realised that I was staring at the wall. Goodnight.

paula...the work nazi

I'm really surprised at how good the fireworks were last night, they were more than a 1/2 hour long. My mom and I sat on the roof and we had a pretty good view, except for this one big-assed tree that was trying to make it harder for us to see. Work sucked ass yesterday, but its always like that when I have to work with Paula. I seriously think that she tries to be unpleasant, I don't think she's said two words to me since I've been there, except for telling me how I should do my job. I really, really hate people that try to tell me how to do my job, its like she wants to be superior over me...oh, oh wait, I guess she is, 'cause she's on "full time" and I'm only part time. But anyway, I did enjoy freaking a few people out while I was on my roof. Wow, I think this is the most uninteresting post I've ever done. I don't know if anyone watches Conan O'Brien, but he is so damn funny, but in a very self-deprecating way. Maybe I'll write more later, but I'm just not in the mood right now.

i don't want to teach anyone how to do porter

I'm removing the comment thing, 'cause no one says anything anyways. Last night, I was laying on my roof, waiting for the fireworks to start and talking to Lia on the phone, when I saw a group of people walking on the street below me and one of them said something along the lines of that's Sam's house, so I yelled something at them and scared 'em...it turned out to be Stephanie Johnston and a whole bunch of other people...that was the highlight of my day. Wow, I'm pretty pathetic. Oh, at work, they had me training some girl on porter, I don't know why they had me training her, I've only been there for a month-ish, anyways, she did the biggest half-assed job I've ever seen in my life, she didn't even try. Ugh...I hate stupid people. I think I'm going to make a habit of laying on my roof, its really weird, but I like it. I better not be training on porter today, that is my least favorite job so far, it's basically grunt work, mopping and sweeping and the other bullshit that that entails. I've gotta go do my laundry before my dad kills me, so maybe I'll update later...then again maybe not.

embrace the man bag

Okay...I have the TV on right now and Living It Up With Ali And Jack is on and there was a designer guy on it and he said "Embrace the man bag". Yay...the man bag actually looks good. They say a lot of funny words on this show for example, pizzaz and biker chic.

too much information

I officially don't dislike Robin Williams anymore, I saw him on Inside The Actors Studio, he was unbelievably funny. So, I walked around Bay-Rama yesterday...its getting more pathetic by the year, they don't even have a Matterhorn type thingy, and that's a staple. Attention: Those faithful readers that do not want to hear something disgusting, do not read any further. I do not enjoy being told things that I don't want to hear, for example: The person, who will remain nameless, that sat next to me in English last semester said that she was really happy that she started her period. As a sane person, I said "You're crazy." Then she said that she had had a yeast infection for the last three months. AT WHICH JUNCTURE DID I ASK ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF HER ANATOMY? Oh yeah...I DIDN'T. But that's not all. I'm at work and this lady that I work with was drinking a pitcher of cranberry juice, and I said nothing. So she said that her doctor said that she needed to drink a lot of cranberry juice. I said something like "Well, at least it tastes good." I didn't need to hear why she had to drink the cranberry juice, I deduced that it had something to do with something I didn't want to know about. She went on to say that she had a urinary tract infection. Once again: AT WHICH JUNCTURE DID I ASK ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF HER ANATOMY? Sometimes I just don't want to know things. Anyone who didn't want to read anything disgusting may continue reading here: Oh, and how ghetto is Detroit? We were starting to look good, for like a week or two, because of the Pistons, but then yesterday some idiot shot nine people at the fireworks...how cliche. I swear, as soon as I finish college, I'm off to Chicago, or some other kick ass city. By the way, why is it that every state has a cool big city except Michigan? New York has one, Illinois has one, California has like 50, Washington has one, Colorado has one, even Idaho has one...why not us? Oh and I put a link to my blogger profile...sometimes I can be such a nerd. I wanna go on vacation....right now.

why do i like the weird movies?

Oohh, one of my favorite movies is on TV right now, Slingblade. Shut up, its a good movie. Speaking of movies, I watched the movie Skins, starring one of my boyfriends, Eric Schweig, and I was blown away. The main character and his brother are pretty much the same people as my dad and his brother. Ugh...I've gotta go, I'll post again later.

drum roll please...scary movie 3 wins the award for a movie that least resembles a movie

I'm gonna murder my computer...it is the biggest piece of shit I've ever tried to type on...no I don't try to type on shit, for the most part. I would like everyone to know that Scary Movie 3 is the absolute stupidest movie I have ever had the misfortune of renting. I'm gonna watch the Bay-rama fireworks from my roof tomorrow, 'cause I'm just that cool. I have nothing else to type, but if you don't hear anything from me tomorrow, it's because my parents blamed me for the computer mishap and subsequently killed me. Goodbye for now...or forever.

do carnies really smell like cabbage?

Well, I was on my morning bike ride today and I remembered something I'd rather have forgotten. They're setting up for the Fish Fly Festival a.k.a Bay-Rama. Ugh...it has become my least favorite time of the summer. Don't get me wrong, I like to go down there and see all my friends who still enjoy going on the rides and stuff, but people park all over our lawn with reckless abandon and its really loud. Wow, I sound like I'm about 60. Anyways, I just don't like seeing all of the drunk people, they freak me out, and what about the carnies? They smell funny, in fact, they smell worse then the awful fishflies. And speaking of those disgusting creatures that live for 24 hours and have no point what-so-ever to their lives, what kind of town names their annual carnival after these annoying little bugs anyways? Who wants to celebrate the annual invasion of these little creatures, they attache themselves to the walls and for a few weeks, you can't walk two feet withouth stepping on them. In fact, someone once wrote into the Johnny Carson show and said that we were the fish fly capital of the world. Now I feel special. On the bright side, I get to watch the fireworks from my roof, and any reason to be on the roof is a good reason. Oh oh, I get to go to a book store today, yippee! And I don't have to work until Thursday! Three cheers for me! I could almost sing, but I'll save you from that thought. Here's something I never, ever do, but I'm going to put the lyrics from a really good song up, 'cause I like it that much:

If wishes were horses
I’d ride a fast one
If wishes were wings
I’d fly wild and free
If wishes were trains
I’d be on the last one
If wishes came true
You’d be loving me

If wishes were blue skies
I’d never get rained on
I’d walk in the sun
Whenever I please
If wishes were dreams
I’d dream the same one
Over and over
Of you loving me

I whisper your name
On each star I see falling
That old wishing well
Gets each penny I find
And every year I blow out every candle
And close my eyes
And wish you were mine
Oh if wishes came true
Then you would be mine

Sorry for that. By the way, that's the song that I can't decide if its country or not. Now I have to get ready to go to the book store. Bubbye.

do you want some eggs? yeah, but only if I can eat them off of your belly button

Trevor spent the night last night because our grandma was taking us out today, we went to the Rain Forest Cafe at Great Lakes Crossing. It is the single noisiest place I have ever eaten, there were elephants and gorillas and thunderstorms, and it kind of smells like Universal Studios...shut up, it does, I swear I'm not crazy. Anyways, I had coconut shrimp, it was soooooooo good. Oh oh...I got another architecture book today, I wish I wasn't such a nerd, but I guess I'll just have to take it in stride, its all about bedrooms and bathrooms...YAY! Wow, I feel sorry for the innocent people that stumble across this blog, I must sound insane. Oh, I forgot, last night I was watching a movie on my computer with my headphones because some eleven year old had to watch the Simpsons, so when that unbelievably stupid show was over with, he came over and started watching the movie with me...with no sound, he quickly resorted to saying what he wanted the people on the screen to be saying, it was the funniest thing I have heard. Among the things he had the people say were: Friendship frenzy and this short exchange: Do you want some eggs? Yeah, but only if I can eat them off of your belly button. Such a strange kid, but I love him. I watched some more Inuyasha with Lia today, I don't know why I like it, but I do, so whatever. I think I'm going to read Harry Potter now, goodnight.

please don't spit at me

Wow, some of the crazy old people at work are genuinely crazy. For instance, Chuck is this really nice old man, but he calls me Wendy, Debbie, and/or Liz, depending on the day and he calls every single guy Mike. Anyways, yesterday I was bussing tables with Tom and he spit at me...no, Tom didn't spit at me, Chuck did. Thank God he missed, I think I would have died, I'm really not a big fan of bodily fluids. Oh, and this other lady says "shit" and "God damn it" in the presence of nuns, which by the way, is really fun to watch. So here's part two of the top ten things I hate about my job:

1. Being spit at -- which in my opinion is completely reasonable

2. Paul -- the male version of Paula, revert to part one

3. Burning my hands and arms on the dish machine

4. Getting soaked head to toe whilst scrubbing pots and pans because I forgot to put on a plastic apron

5. Getting yelled at by Mrs. Goodspeed -- she yelled at me for taking a cup that she was through with

6. Touching pickles -- get your mind out of the gutter, I can't stand the smell of pickles and I have to touch them on a daily basis...no, seriously GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

7. Mopping

8. Having dreams about work -- last night I had a dream that I stole a cookie out of the cookie box, which we are allowed to do, and I had to give it back even though it was half eaten

9. This one lady who sounds exactly like Kevin Meany -- she says "That's not right" whenever you take something that she's done with, for example, yesterday I took a fork that I don't even think was hers because hers was in her hand, and she said "That's not right", I tried my hardest not to laugh.

10. Washing the walls -- the bleach makes my hands burn and go all splotchy.


Okay, I have a confession to make...I'm a complete nerd. Almost every night, Lia and I go online and play...drumroll please...Backgammon. I think the people at work are rubbing off on us. Last night, I guess I fell asleep with my work pants on, so this morning at about 5:00, my mom came upstairs and stole them because it probably isn't sanitary to sleep in clothes that have at least a few communicable diseases on them...I don't like waking up with fewer clothes on then when I went to sleep. One more thing, I hate country music with a passion, but there's this one song called "Wishes" by Lari White, and I don't know what its called, but I love it...I really hope its not country, its against my religion to listen to country music...I could go to hell, or worse NASHVILLE!

if i could marry lemonade popsicles, i would

May I just start off by saying: THE PISTONS WON. And I must say that I am just as surprised as those cry baby Lakers are. Anyway, I don't watch sports, so I'm gonna stop talking about them too. Yesterday I was exposed to the anime show Inuyasha, its better than I expected, its kinda interesting. Oh, and after work, I went over to my grandma's house and we just sat there talking and eating lemonade popsicles, with the Piston's game on the TV, muted of course. We were quite a sight, but we only did it because my mom said that I would get in trouble if I didn't watch the game. Great, now I want lemonade. I'm going to con my parents into letting me get the internet in my bedroom, because everytime I want to go on the computer, my mom is Ebay-ing. She's such a dork. You know what I've noticed, every day I wake up later than the day before, here's my week so far: Monday: 8:30am Tuesday: 10:00am Wednesday: 11:10am. I'm guessing that by next week, I'll just wake up and go to work, I guess it doesn't help that I stay up until 4:00am, but that's besides the point. Speaking of work, I'm not looking forward to going today, its kind of like a fear of impending doom thing. Okay, I have to vaccuum, my mom will go crazy if I don't do it. Bubbye.

commericals ruin careers

I just saw that dad from Clarissa Explains It All in a Detrol LX commercial, "And I don't have to go right now."

the key that doesn't fit in any locks

Here's an update on the key that doesn't fit in any locks...I DIDN'T HAVE TO CLIMB IN MY WINDOW. The stupid key got stuck in the lock and that's why it wouldn't turn...when my mom came home, all she did was take the key and jiggle it, then turn it..and bam..she's in the house. She was proud of me though! Lia and I saw Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, not too shabby, I liked it better than the first two, and Harry was a lot cuter. Guess what! Harry Potter is gonna be at the IMAX theater at Henry Ford...I have to see it. I don't wanna take the ACTs tomorrow, they're at De La Salle, I'll probably be one of four girls there, and not that I'm complaining, it'll just be weird.

oh yeah, i forgot to tell you that i was an escape artist

Okay...I think everyone is going to be really proud of Lia and I after I tell you this true story. Let me set the scene: My mom is taking her friend to chemotherapy today, so she won't be home until between 4:00 and 5:00. Lia drives into my driveway and I reach into my bag to get my keys...uh oh, they're not there, so I remember that my mom put a spare key in the backyard...so I go put the key in the lock and as luck would have it, the key doesn't fit one lock in the whole house...by now, I hate myself because I have to go to work at about 4:00 and I have no way to get my uniform...so I walk into to the backyard in a last ditch effort to see if the key works for the garage, even though that wouldn't do me any good...and then I see it! I left my bedroom window open last night and the only thing stopping me from being inside my house is a screen and eight feet. So I go over to my neighbors house and his dad, who by the way is about 65, and he let me borrow a big ladder and his buck knife and Lia and I went onto my deck and she held the ladder while i dismantled the screen window and climbed in. Fun stuff.