will ferrell is my god

Oh my God!! I'm watching the best of Will Ferrell from SNL...it is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't think everyone can appreciate his humor, but it is so funny, especially the Blue Oyster Cult sketch. Shut up, I know what you're thinking, who the hell is the Blue Oyster Cult? They sing "Don't Fear The Reaper", and there's a cow bell in the song....I'm gonna stop talking now, but for anyone who wants to see the sketch, here's a link. I must go do the dishes.

yes....i am a nerd

Wow, I just realized that yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my leaving for England...it seems like that was a few months ago, not four years ago.

the extraordinary peeing cat

OH MY GOD, I'm going to kill my f***ing cat. I had all of my work clothes in the laundry basket because I had just washed them (duh!), so my cat decides that he has to go pee on them because they're not clean enough already. I'm seriously goinna kill him. Now I have dry my clothes, I just thought I'd share my cats stupid antics with y'all.

don't make fun of the juice

I went to Bay-Rama...I know, I'm such a hypocrite, but the Scrambler was calling my name. Anyways, Lia and her brother and I went to Bay-Rama at 10:00, only to find out that the wristbands aren't usable after 10:00, and each ticket costs $1.00, so it cost each of us $3.00 to ride the Scrambler. Work sucked ass again today and Paula wasn't even there, everyone was just in a bad mood. Oh and I don't think that the world is ready for pomegranate juice, 'cause I bought some on my way to work and I was drinking it in the office before we started working, anyways, its in a weird bottle, so everyone was curious about it, so I let them try it. They decided that it tasted like prune juice...what a buzz kill. But I don't care if they make fun of my juice, because they just aren't cool enough to understand the juice. I have to go to bed right now, I just stared at the wall for a good five minutes before I realised that I was staring at the wall. Goodnight.

paula...the work nazi

I'm really surprised at how good the fireworks were last night, they were more than a 1/2 hour long. My mom and I sat on the roof and we had a pretty good view, except for this one big-assed tree that was trying to make it harder for us to see. Work sucked ass yesterday, but its always like that when I have to work with Paula. I seriously think that she tries to be unpleasant, I don't think she's said two words to me since I've been there, except for telling me how I should do my job. I really, really hate people that try to tell me how to do my job, its like she wants to be superior over me...oh, oh wait, I guess she is, 'cause she's on "full time" and I'm only part time. But anyway, I did enjoy freaking a few people out while I was on my roof. Wow, I think this is the most uninteresting post I've ever done. I don't know if anyone watches Conan O'Brien, but he is so damn funny, but in a very self-deprecating way. Maybe I'll write more later, but I'm just not in the mood right now.

i don't want to teach anyone how to do porter

I'm removing the comment thing, 'cause no one says anything anyways. Last night, I was laying on my roof, waiting for the fireworks to start and talking to Lia on the phone, when I saw a group of people walking on the street below me and one of them said something along the lines of that's Sam's house, so I yelled something at them and scared 'em...it turned out to be Stephanie Johnston and a whole bunch of other people...that was the highlight of my day. Wow, I'm pretty pathetic. Oh, at work, they had me training some girl on porter, I don't know why they had me training her, I've only been there for a month-ish, anyways, she did the biggest half-assed job I've ever seen in my life, she didn't even try. Ugh...I hate stupid people. I think I'm going to make a habit of laying on my roof, its really weird, but I like it. I better not be training on porter today, that is my least favorite job so far, it's basically grunt work, mopping and sweeping and the other bullshit that that entails. I've gotta go do my laundry before my dad kills me, so maybe I'll update later...then again maybe not.

embrace the man bag

Okay...I have the TV on right now and Living It Up With Ali And Jack is on and there was a designer guy on it and he said "Embrace the man bag". Yay...the man bag actually looks good. They say a lot of funny words on this show for example, pizzaz and biker chic.

too much information

I officially don't dislike Robin Williams anymore, I saw him on Inside The Actors Studio, he was unbelievably funny. So, I walked around Bay-Rama yesterday...its getting more pathetic by the year, they don't even have a Matterhorn type thingy, and that's a staple. Attention: Those faithful readers that do not want to hear something disgusting, do not read any further. I do not enjoy being told things that I don't want to hear, for example: The person, who will remain nameless, that sat next to me in English last semester said that she was really happy that she started her period. As a sane person, I said "You're crazy." Then she said that she had had a yeast infection for the last three months. AT WHICH JUNCTURE DID I ASK ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF HER ANATOMY? Oh yeah...I DIDN'T. But that's not all. I'm at work and this lady that I work with was drinking a pitcher of cranberry juice, and I said nothing. So she said that her doctor said that she needed to drink a lot of cranberry juice. I said something like "Well, at least it tastes good." I didn't need to hear why she had to drink the cranberry juice, I deduced that it had something to do with something I didn't want to know about. She went on to say that she had a urinary tract infection. Once again: AT WHICH JUNCTURE DID I ASK ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF HER ANATOMY? Sometimes I just don't want to know things. Anyone who didn't want to read anything disgusting may continue reading here: Oh, and how ghetto is Detroit? We were starting to look good, for like a week or two, because of the Pistons, but then yesterday some idiot shot nine people at the fireworks...how cliche. I swear, as soon as I finish college, I'm off to Chicago, or some other kick ass city. By the way, why is it that every state has a cool big city except Michigan? New York has one, Illinois has one, California has like 50, Washington has one, Colorado has one, even Idaho has one...why not us? Oh and I put a link to my blogger profile...sometimes I can be such a nerd. I wanna go on vacation....right now.

why do i like the weird movies?

Oohh, one of my favorite movies is on TV right now, Slingblade. Shut up, its a good movie. Speaking of movies, I watched the movie Skins, starring one of my boyfriends, Eric Schweig, and I was blown away. The main character and his brother are pretty much the same people as my dad and his brother. Ugh...I've gotta go, I'll post again later.

drum roll please...scary movie 3 wins the award for a movie that least resembles a movie

I'm gonna murder my computer...it is the biggest piece of shit I've ever tried to type on...no I don't try to type on shit, for the most part. I would like everyone to know that Scary Movie 3 is the absolute stupidest movie I have ever had the misfortune of renting. I'm gonna watch the Bay-rama fireworks from my roof tomorrow, 'cause I'm just that cool. I have nothing else to type, but if you don't hear anything from me tomorrow, it's because my parents blamed me for the computer mishap and subsequently killed me. Goodbye for now...or forever.

do carnies really smell like cabbage?

Well, I was on my morning bike ride today and I remembered something I'd rather have forgotten. They're setting up for the Fish Fly Festival a.k.a Bay-Rama. Ugh...it has become my least favorite time of the summer. Don't get me wrong, I like to go down there and see all my friends who still enjoy going on the rides and stuff, but people park all over our lawn with reckless abandon and its really loud. Wow, I sound like I'm about 60. Anyways, I just don't like seeing all of the drunk people, they freak me out, and what about the carnies? They smell funny, in fact, they smell worse then the awful fishflies. And speaking of those disgusting creatures that live for 24 hours and have no point what-so-ever to their lives, what kind of town names their annual carnival after these annoying little bugs anyways? Who wants to celebrate the annual invasion of these little creatures, they attache themselves to the walls and for a few weeks, you can't walk two feet withouth stepping on them. In fact, someone once wrote into the Johnny Carson show and said that we were the fish fly capital of the world. Now I feel special. On the bright side, I get to watch the fireworks from my roof, and any reason to be on the roof is a good reason. Oh oh, I get to go to a book store today, yippee! And I don't have to work until Thursday! Three cheers for me! I could almost sing, but I'll save you from that thought. Here's something I never, ever do, but I'm going to put the lyrics from a really good song up, 'cause I like it that much:

If wishes were horses
I’d ride a fast one
If wishes were wings
I’d fly wild and free
If wishes were trains
I’d be on the last one
If wishes came true
You’d be loving me

If wishes were blue skies
I’d never get rained on
I’d walk in the sun
Whenever I please
If wishes were dreams
I’d dream the same one
Over and over
Of you loving me

I whisper your name
On each star I see falling
That old wishing well
Gets each penny I find
And every year I blow out every candle
And close my eyes
And wish you were mine
Oh if wishes came true
Then you would be mine

Sorry for that. By the way, that's the song that I can't decide if its country or not. Now I have to get ready to go to the book store. Bubbye.

do you want some eggs? yeah, but only if I can eat them off of your belly button

Trevor spent the night last night because our grandma was taking us out today, we went to the Rain Forest Cafe at Great Lakes Crossing. It is the single noisiest place I have ever eaten, there were elephants and gorillas and thunderstorms, and it kind of smells like Universal Studios...shut up, it does, I swear I'm not crazy. Anyways, I had coconut shrimp, it was soooooooo good. Oh oh...I got another architecture book today, I wish I wasn't such a nerd, but I guess I'll just have to take it in stride, its all about bedrooms and bathrooms...YAY! Wow, I feel sorry for the innocent people that stumble across this blog, I must sound insane. Oh, I forgot, last night I was watching a movie on my computer with my headphones because some eleven year old had to watch the Simpsons, so when that unbelievably stupid show was over with, he came over and started watching the movie with me...with no sound, he quickly resorted to saying what he wanted the people on the screen to be saying, it was the funniest thing I have heard. Among the things he had the people say were: Friendship frenzy and this short exchange: Do you want some eggs? Yeah, but only if I can eat them off of your belly button. Such a strange kid, but I love him. I watched some more Inuyasha with Lia today, I don't know why I like it, but I do, so whatever. I think I'm going to read Harry Potter now, goodnight.

please don't spit at me

Wow, some of the crazy old people at work are genuinely crazy. For instance, Chuck is this really nice old man, but he calls me Wendy, Debbie, and/or Liz, depending on the day and he calls every single guy Mike. Anyways, yesterday I was bussing tables with Tom and he spit at me...no, Tom didn't spit at me, Chuck did. Thank God he missed, I think I would have died, I'm really not a big fan of bodily fluids. Oh, and this other lady says "shit" and "God damn it" in the presence of nuns, which by the way, is really fun to watch. So here's part two of the top ten things I hate about my job:

1. Being spit at -- which in my opinion is completely reasonable

2. Paul -- the male version of Paula, revert to part one

3. Burning my hands and arms on the dish machine

4. Getting soaked head to toe whilst scrubbing pots and pans because I forgot to put on a plastic apron

5. Getting yelled at by Mrs. Goodspeed -- she yelled at me for taking a cup that she was through with

6. Touching pickles -- get your mind out of the gutter, I can't stand the smell of pickles and I have to touch them on a daily basis...no, seriously GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

7. Mopping

8. Having dreams about work -- last night I had a dream that I stole a cookie out of the cookie box, which we are allowed to do, and I had to give it back even though it was half eaten

9. This one lady who sounds exactly like Kevin Meany -- she says "That's not right" whenever you take something that she's done with, for example, yesterday I took a fork that I don't even think was hers because hers was in her hand, and she said "That's not right", I tried my hardest not to laugh.

10. Washing the walls -- the bleach makes my hands burn and go all splotchy.


Okay, I have a confession to make...I'm a complete nerd. Almost every night, Lia and I go online and play...drumroll please...Backgammon. I think the people at work are rubbing off on us. Last night, I guess I fell asleep with my work pants on, so this morning at about 5:00, my mom came upstairs and stole them because it probably isn't sanitary to sleep in clothes that have at least a few communicable diseases on them...I don't like waking up with fewer clothes on then when I went to sleep. One more thing, I hate country music with a passion, but there's this one song called "Wishes" by Lari White, and I don't know what its called, but I love it...I really hope its not country, its against my religion to listen to country music...I could go to hell, or worse NASHVILLE!

if i could marry lemonade popsicles, i would

May I just start off by saying: THE PISTONS WON. And I must say that I am just as surprised as those cry baby Lakers are. Anyway, I don't watch sports, so I'm gonna stop talking about them too. Yesterday I was exposed to the anime show Inuyasha, its better than I expected, its kinda interesting. Oh, and after work, I went over to my grandma's house and we just sat there talking and eating lemonade popsicles, with the Piston's game on the TV, muted of course. We were quite a sight, but we only did it because my mom said that I would get in trouble if I didn't watch the game. Great, now I want lemonade. I'm going to con my parents into letting me get the internet in my bedroom, because everytime I want to go on the computer, my mom is Ebay-ing. She's such a dork. You know what I've noticed, every day I wake up later than the day before, here's my week so far: Monday: 8:30am Tuesday: 10:00am Wednesday: 11:10am. I'm guessing that by next week, I'll just wake up and go to work, I guess it doesn't help that I stay up until 4:00am, but that's besides the point. Speaking of work, I'm not looking forward to going today, its kind of like a fear of impending doom thing. Okay, I have to vaccuum, my mom will go crazy if I don't do it. Bubbye.

commericals ruin careers

I just saw that dad from Clarissa Explains It All in a Detrol LX commercial, "And I don't have to go right now."

the key that doesn't fit in any locks

Here's an update on the key that doesn't fit in any locks...I DIDN'T HAVE TO CLIMB IN MY WINDOW. The stupid key got stuck in the lock and that's why it wouldn't turn...when my mom came home, all she did was take the key and jiggle it, then turn it..and bam..she's in the house. She was proud of me though! Lia and I saw Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, not too shabby, I liked it better than the first two, and Harry was a lot cuter. Guess what! Harry Potter is gonna be at the IMAX theater at Henry Ford...I have to see it. I don't wanna take the ACTs tomorrow, they're at De La Salle, I'll probably be one of four girls there, and not that I'm complaining, it'll just be weird.

oh yeah, i forgot to tell you that i was an escape artist

Okay...I think everyone is going to be really proud of Lia and I after I tell you this true story. Let me set the scene: My mom is taking her friend to chemotherapy today, so she won't be home until between 4:00 and 5:00. Lia drives into my driveway and I reach into my bag to get my keys...uh oh, they're not there, so I remember that my mom put a spare key in the backyard...so I go put the key in the lock and as luck would have it, the key doesn't fit one lock in the whole house...by now, I hate myself because I have to go to work at about 4:00 and I have no way to get my uniform...so I walk into to the backyard in a last ditch effort to see if the key works for the garage, even though that wouldn't do me any good...and then I see it! I left my bedroom window open last night and the only thing stopping me from being inside my house is a screen and eight feet. So I go over to my neighbors house and his dad, who by the way is about 65, and he let me borrow a big ladder and his buck knife and Lia and I went onto my deck and she held the ladder while i dismantled the screen window and climbed in. Fun stuff.