i'm a liar

Yeah, I guess I lied about the quotes, I really haven't had time to blog lately, so don't look forward to a whole lot of posts from now until at least summer. Bubbye.

you can't pick your friend's nose

Okay, so I was in the shower (NEVER a good start to a story) and while washing my hair, my aunts famous words of wisdom popped into my head:
You can pick your friends...
You can pick your nose...
But you can't pick your friend's nose!

And no, before anyone asks, I was not picking my nose! I promise I'll do quotes tomorrow.

here's my life in two sentences

I have to do quotes soon. I'm gonna go do homework and watch Will & Grace.

sometimes i amaze myself

This is officially the best palindrome (things spelled the same forward and backward) ever:
Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog!

i wish i wasn't so new baltimore

I put two new links up: Swapping Parts and How New Baltimore Are You? Everyone needs to read Swapping Parts and btw, I'm 87% New Baltimore.

homework and hackers

Okay, do you guys want to know what a dumbass I am? Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway. I left my government book at school and the big stupid worksheet is due on MONDAY, so yeah, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get it done. Oh, and you know how I blamed my brother for breaking my computer? Well it wasn't him, apparently someone has been using my computer as a server (don't even ask me about what I'm typing, cuz I have no idea) and downloading stuff onto my computer so that they could us it on their computer. Creepy, that means that they can use my computer from wherever they are. Anyway, I have to re-install my stupid computer today......damn.

is it just me, or are windmills really scary?

The Top Ten Things I Hate, in no particular order:

1. Condiments -- ketchup is just wrong

2. A. My feet -- they are like frickin' flippers
B. My pinky toes -- yeah, I don't have toenails on them

3. Windmills -- shut up, they're scary

4. Spiders -- way too many legs

5. Scary Books -- its like a scary movie in your head that you can't shut off

6. Purple -- its such a weird color

7. Football -- sorry, but this is the most uninteresting thing ever

8. Milk -- maybe this is why I'm not growing

9. Acid washed jeans -- so 1980

10. Pickles -- eeww

i must be an insomniac

I seriously don't know what is wrong with me, I haven't gotten to sleep any earlier than 2:00am this whole week, so that's like four hours of sleep tops. I'm studying French, but I decided that I should share my sleeping habits with y'all. Laters.

guess what.................

I'M NOT MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mom just got back from Seattle and her and my dad had a big long talk and decided that everything was too expensive. My dad is on his way home right now. I've gotta go to bed, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep.

gonna kill you mon frere

I'm going to kill Jason, he broke the internet. Yes, I understand that I'm on the internet, but whenever I click on the "e", it does nothing, so I had to get on through RealOne player. Did I mention that I was going to kill Jason yet? Yeah, there's nothing else to say right now, laters.

fashionably late is never fashionable, just late

Okay, my brother is officially a nerd. We were gonna go see a movie last night at 9:40 and he got to my house at 9:40, needless to say we're gonna go tonight. Anyway, I talked to my mom and dad this morning and my dad was so excited when he saw her. I'm so jealous of my parents right know, they're driving out to the ocean as I type. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, drum roll please, here's the qoutes:
1. Do you have clothes on? -- Lia -- Yes, I always wear clothes!!!

2. I love three way -- me -- three way CALLING!!!!!

3. I'm quite content with my juice......which I'm going to drink like a woman -- Cat -- I don't think you can do it

4. That was like a shimi talk -- Cat -- could you demonstrate that one for the class?

5. I said pothole, not crap pipe -- Cat -- thanks for clearing that one up

6. Sparky has only bitten one person, my mom, and that was because he thought she was steak -- me -- don't I have a pathetic dog?

7. It would be so great if you could baaa in your sheep -- me -- see, I shouldn't be able to talk after midnight

Oh, here's an over share, my dog was following me around all day yesterday FARTING. And I found a really good picture of Michael Jackson, it's in the link column.

commie bastards

I'm really mad at FOX right now:
Fox shelves Playing It Straight
Variety reports that, as part of a major overhaul of the Fox network's Thursday and Friday lineups, the reality show Playing It Straight will be going on temporary hiatus. The dating show, about a straight woman who must pick a straight suitor out of a group of gay and straight men, has been pulled from the schedule, although Fox does plan on airing the remaining episodes this summer so viewers can find out how the game ends.

you can't contain the fat man within

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged since Monday, so sue me. Um...let's see, here's how my week has gone so far. Study, go to the mall with Lia, study some more, go see The Whole Ten Yards with Lia, study some more, Cat and Lia spent the night, study some more. I think I'm all studied out. Oh, and before I do quotes, Cat came up with a new word:

Pornicate -- the act of administering sexual acts to pornography, such as magazines, videos, and/or websites.

Now you may have quotes:

1. Wow Cat, you do it fast -- Lia -- good to know

2. It popped out and you're not gong to get it back in -- Cat -- yeah, once it has popped out there's no turning back

3. I don't want to be farted on or kicked -- Cat -- sometimes you don't have a choice

4. Orgaz his penis -- Cat -- you say a lot of weird things

5. Get smaller socks -- Lia -- how forceful of you

6. Put your card up you suck-o -- Lia -- is there a clinical definition to suck-o?

7. I guess I'm a mijority -- Cat -- make up your mind

8. Sam did dealt -- me -- Sam doesn't know how to talk very well

9. I think the penis would no longer be erect after its erect -- Cat -- thank you for your assessment Dr. Trombly

10. I think you can contain the fat man with in, you just choose not to -- me -- you would understand if you heard Lia laugh

11. You were thinking of me in the shower? -- me -- I guess I'm just that important to people

12. I have weird friends...Oh, hello glasses -- me -- yep, the weirdness is rubbing off on me

13. I woke up and it wasn't in my mouth, it was in my bed -- me -- it was supposed to be in my mouth

14. There's not enough room for my tongue, it's getting stuck between the plastic -- me -- stupid retainer

15. I'm touching the wall with my body in every possible spot -- Cat -- please don't violate my walls ever again

why am i such a dork?

Wow, I was just reading The Week, which is pretty much a compilation of every news publication in the world and every week they pick a few really good books to highlight and Tom Stanton's new book was in there, his was seriously one of five. I was so excited, he really deserves it, he's an awesome writer, he wrote two Elton John books. So, you know Mrs. (Beth) Stanton the librarian? That's his wife. Sorry, you guys might think I'm a nerd, but get over it, I'm excited.

cosmo is bad

Oh...Cat and I spent the night at Lia's the other day and read the magazine that Cat is not allowed to read (COSMO!!). That was the funniest thing ever. Before I forget, I found the most addicting website called SoundClick. It has a whole bunch of new bands and you can download their music for free. Anyway, Lia and I went to the mall with the intent to look at prom dresses, but she let me slide on that because I'm not going anyway. I did buy Sims, the best game ever. Here's the quotes:

1. I don't wanna see him if he has a big head -- Lia -- are you sure?

2. It was already down when I was coughing -- Cat -- thats...weird

3. I can't get mine up -- Cat -- there's medicine for that

4. That SUV that just walked by -- Cat -- it's time to go back to the padded cell now

5. I wanna reap? -- Cat -- yeah, no more on the crack pipe for you

6. Sex plus you equals me -- Cat -- ummm....how 'bout NO

7. Catherine doesn't know how to do sexual math -- Cat -- that's for sure

8. Why don't you get it, then you can art yourself -- Lia -- what is wrong with my friends?

9. Did the pure disgust have to hit me in the face? -- Lia -- Yes it did

Ohh...here's the billion dollar idea of the week Kinky Crosswords!! Don't even think about stealing my idea.

there is a tampon in my salad

Happy Good Friday! Survivor sucked last night, I really like Lex, and now I can't stand Rob or Cathy. I watched it at Lia's, then we went out to dinner (I know, dinner at 9:00!!) at Applebee's. I love Applebee's. I have to study so much over this stupid break...fine, it's not stupid, I just hate French. No, let me rephrase that, I hate my French teacher, she doesn't even teach us. Anyway, here's the part you've all been waiting for:

1. Sometimes I pretend its a microphone and sing to it -- me -- doesn't everyone?

2. We're having a nose-picking contest and you're going first -- Mrs. Huber -- she sound's kinda weird

3. We're all going to blow our nose the polish way and we'll see who will get the bullseye -- Mrs. Huber -- yeah, she's weird

4. I got stuck on your cheese -- me -- that's saucy

5. I want a baracuda tutor -- me -- hmm......I guess I hit the crack pipe a little hard yesterday morning

6. I'll have to cohort with the cohorts -- me -- isn't it self explanatory?

7. You won't blog me -- Michelle -- YES I WILL

8. I wanted to have a whole Catherine, Lia, Sam, and me fun time -- Liz (Butler) -- I'm sorry, I don't know if that is possible

9. John Zemanhore -- me -- John Leech's new name

10. I'm not gonna lose my hair for a guy! -- Liz -- you tell 'em!

11. I've to to get the circulation in my ass -- Lia -- ummmm......have fun with that

12. Don't worry, you already ate my spit -- Allison -- oh, is that all?

13. There is a tampon in my salad -- Allison -- you should definately tell the cook

14. What are words? -- Nicole -- that is a good question

15. The hair is attacking my chin -- Allison -- I'd be lying if I said I wasn't confused

16. Oh my gosh, I just molested the lunch lady's ass! -- Allison -- yeah, not everyone likes that

17. His friend always sits up my ass -- Allison -- you sure get around, don't you?

how often is paul on porter?

Cat, Lia and I went to Target today and I got season 7 of Friends and the case is hot pink, which, if you didn't know, is my favorite color. Oh, and if any of you ever catch Cat with Cosmopolitan magazine, take it away, it turns her into the biggest pervert you will ever meet. Here's a random comment: Why do teachers insist on pulling their pants up so high? and Lia's answer: "They must enjoy wedgies, skankman's skanker pants aren't high rise". I don't have time to say anything else, but here are the quotes:

1. Power outage, let's pray! -- Mrs. Wilk -- Oh, oh, oh.....let me get my rosary

2. Don't go away focus! -- Mrs. Wilk -- what the shit?

3. Hi, I'm an ellipse -- Mrs. Wilk -- yeah, she's weird

4. Let's have a double ellipse -- Mrs. Wilk -- you think that's strange, look what Lia said in response to it

5. That's kinky! -- Lia -- not so much

6. The fizziness hurt me -- me -- once again, I don't know what the hell I was talking about

7. Look, it's little red robin! -- Amanda -- yes, the lesser known pet of little red riding hood

8. I might be a redneck -- Kelley -- might?

9. I don't get my math, it looks like a penis -- Amy -- hun, that's not math

10. I can do it with a 105 pound dummy -- Lia -- what, while he just lays there?

11. The sides are metal, and you were foolin' around with the sheets -- Lia -- yeah, I'm sure you were just foolin' around

12. I had to snap the snap on my butt -- Lia -- there's no excuse for grabbing your own ass

13. I like when Paul is on Porter -- Lia -- I bet Porter likes it too

14. You're eating the fetus! -- some random girl at lunch -- there will be no, and I repeat, no eating of the fetuses (feti?)

15. You said Je -- me -- Je, as in I in french

16. (while pointing at Cat) Je voudrais fromage (I would like cheese) -- Lia -- You would like Cat cheese?

17. Would you like to play with my salami? -- me -- I bet you're wondering if I actually have a salami

that's incongruous

I wish my dog could laugh.

oh yeah...sweaty finger

I think it's kinda sad that I feel guilty for not blogging. Anyway, I have a whole bunch of quotes to post, but that's it, cuz I am studying my ass off for the french AP test, so here they are:

1. It looked really cool, despite the fact that it was sex -- Cat -- or was it the fact that it was sex??????????????????????

2. As in you're speared? -- Lia -- the next one is my response

3. Yes........she's kabobbed -- me

4. She had a big sex -- Lia about CAT

5. Medusa shmoosa -- Jessica Van Mourik -- you tell 'em

6. It's a shock that I can't get it up faster -- Lia -- yes, that is a shock, along with the shock that you have something to "get up"

7. I drink like a man -- Lia -- maybe that's why you have a hard time getting it up

8. Sam I ham -- Cat -- yeah okay

9. I think I'm allergic to Greenfield Village -- me -- I swear, it's all the old buildings

10. Oh yeah, sweaty finger -- Kriss -- um................I don't know how to respond to that one

11. It fell out of my apple -- Cat -- you're weird

12. You're supposed to blow from the mouth, but I blew from the butt -- Kriss -- I thought you were supposed to........never mind

13. You blew it from the wrong end -- Amanda -- and how, pray tell, did you do that?

Here's two non words that Cat said today:

Im-ma-date -- def. a redneck word derived from the words him, my and date, for instance: See that guy over there? Immadate.

Kabobanation -- def. the religious sect of barbequed meat

Here's one random thought of mine:

Elton John is a friggin' genius.

the act's suck baboon ass

Yeah, I know I didn't blog yesterday like I said I would, but I went to bed at 7:00. I don't really have time to blog now either, it's 6:26 am and I have ACTs in about an hour and a half, so what the hell am I doing on the computer!